Don’t call it a draft. No, seriously, "draft" appears to be one of Vince McMahon's banned words, which is why the annual "drafting" of people from one show to the other must be termed the "Superstar Shakeup." Branding is important, you see.
Regardless of silly terminology, you can’t say that Monday and Tuesday didn’t move the chains, although a lot of the action — most of it, frankly — was Lateral Move Central: Absolution to “SmackDown." Riott Squad to “RAW”; Breezeango and Ascension to "RAW," Gallows and Anderson and The Bar to "SmackDown."
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Mostly, the midcards switched places without freshening up. That said, there were legit improvements to the standings of some wrestlers, mostly for the blue brand, so apparently Shane McMahon is a pretty shrewd negotiator. Here then, my thoughts on the biggest winners, and those who were probably better off before.
Full list of Superstar Shakeup moves, courtesy WWE.
WWE Superstar Shakeup: Winners
1. "SmackDown Live." Check out this updated tag team division: The Bludgeon Brothers, The Usos, The New Day, The Bar and Gallows and Anderson. The women’s division added Asuka on a full-time basis, as well as the underrated Iconic Duo from NXT. People on Tuesday will never again have to endure a 20-minute Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal match, so the fans are the real winners.
2. Roman Reigns. Rumors were rampant that Daniel Bryan and/or AJ Styles would move to “RAW” and challenge the top spot laughably held by the "Big Dog." Fear not: Not only did Reigns not have any challenge to his “yard” as a part of the Shakeup, but arch-enemy Samoa Joe was moved off the show after scoring some pretty sick burns on the "Juggernaut" two weeks in a row. Better watch out, Seth Rollins: You’re getting pretty popular again, so you might end up on Tuesdays before all is said and done, too.
Braun Strowman was looking like a threat, but now he’s apparently all about baby-sitting kids and offering us his hands. I still have no idea what that slogan is supposed to mean. Maybe Vince’s goal all along was to load up “RAW” with people so boring and heatless that we have no choice but to cheer for Roman by default.
3. Jeff Hardy. As tough as it is to call someone who just got arrested on a DWI charge a "winner," Jeff is suddenly U.S. Champion and on a show where he can shine as a star and, one would hope, not get fired for a third strike. Sticking around on "RAW" would have dragged him down into whatever bizarre relationship Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt have, so it's probably healthier for everyone to get him away from that scene.
Despite all his screwups and injuries, people still view Jeff as a major star, and as secondary champion on "SmackDown," he can have good matches with the likes of Randy Orton and get the spotlight all to himself. Ditto for Samoa Joe, who was increasingly lost in the shuffle of the “RAW” midcard after some impressive performances against Brock Lesnar.
4. Bobby Roode. Sure, he’s 40 years old and about as interesting as overcooked steak outside of his entrance music, but the main event of “RAW” featured a 10-man tag team match where he was promoted as the big surprise for the show, and WWE doesn’t put wrestlers in that kind of position without some big plans for them. Granted, he'd be far better off as a heel again, but at least he didn't get drafted via text message like Zack Ryder and Mojo Rawley. Take your wins where you can get them.
5. Natalya. Possibly the only person moved into a major role who is somehow duller than Booby Roode, Nattie clearly benefited from one thing: her friendship with Ronda Rousey. Rousey made a big impression at WrestleMania, but now she needs to work matches on a regular basis, and her longtime friend and training partner is the perfect person with whom to have a real feud, and probably the best shot with whom to have great matches. As a bonus for Natalya, she gets to make bank when she inevitably turns on Ronda to set up their SummerSlam match, and she'll probably get some screen time on ESPN and other mainstream media as well. That buys a lot of cat food.
Losers
1. Chad Gable. This guy can’t catch a break. His team with Jason Jordan came up from NXT with all the momentum in the world and then was killed off out of nowhere after a disappointing "SmackDown" tag title reign. Jordan has been a complete flop on “RAW,” and we thought Gable would regroup with Shelton Benjamin as a new version of American Alpha. Indeed, it seemed as though they had some real chemistry. They got some title shots at the Usos and looked impressive, but they lost quickly in a Two-out-of-Three-Falls match at the 2018 Royal Rumble. Then, in the ultimate humiliation, the team was unceremoniously split up off-screen this week, with Gable announced as going to “RAW” in the Shakeup. Well, the move wasn't announced on TV as such, but rather in an offhand Internet post on WWE.com hours later. That’s not exactly a sign of confidence in Gable, but stranger things have happened. I’m hopeful we’ll finally get the reveal that Gable was Kurt Angle’s son instead of Jordan.
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2. Daniel Bryan. It seemed as though big things were ahead for him when he made his return from retirement at WrestleMania. He was getting the biggest reactions on the show and appeared to be prepping quickly for a feud with AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura over the WWE title. Now, the Miz is on "SmackDown" to finally pay off his long-running feud with Bryan, which is a major step down for D-Bry.
Bryan is a major star and a multiple-time world champion; The Miz … is not. He’s fine, he’s a good promo, he can have a good match with good wrestlers, but he isn't going to allow Bryan to be a main-event attraction again. Even worse, The Miz's new ally is the returning Big Cass, whose biggest upside is that he’s an elite character in the “WWE Champions” mobile game. He's pretty godawful in the ring and fans don't particularly care about him. He does, however, possess the three most important criteria for stardom in the mind of Vince McMahon: He’s tall, he's muscular, and he has a full head of hair. That means he'll get chance after chance in a top spot, but come on: If someone is so terrible that people chant “We want Enzo" after everything that went down, WWE shouldn't want to program him with its top stars.
3. The Miztourage. Oh, man, let's hope Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel haven’t committed to any long-term investments or made any down payments on houses. They were acceptable as comedy backup for The Miz in a midcard role, but on their own they’re pretty much dead meat, especially in the new, super-loaded "RAW" tag team division. Maybe they’ll break up and feud with each other; more likely, they'll be demoted to "WWE Main Event” and disappear from the main-roster shows until they get pink-slipped in next year’s spring cleaning. Hey, I hear TNA is hiring.
4. "Monday Night RAW." I'm sure that in Vince McMahon’s mind, he has stacked the deck for the red brand. Dolph Ziggler! Baron Corbin! Bobby Roode! Jinder Mahal! Does anyone care about these people? No. All that has been accomplished is shifting the dead weight from the "SmackDown" midcard to "RAW" and inflicting Corbin's boring matches on the Monday night audience instead.
5. R-Truth. He is never going to be allowed to live down the Green Bay thing. Now he doesn’t even know what show he’s on.