I think it goes without saying that we who hail from the Great White North are a hearty folk. This winter has been brutal, with temperatures out in the western provinces still falling below -20C, even in what is laughably supposed to be “spring” this year. I’ll be very excited when we finally get to summer again. I think it was on a Wednesday last year.
Regardless, it’s a scientific fact that Canada just produces better wrestlers than everywhere else in the world. Except Dino Bravo. He’s the worst, the absolute worst.
Let me break it down for you and drop some knowledge on the subject.
It’s cold up here. People get cooped up together and snowed in, frequently in the middle of February, and past a certain point there’s little else to do but drink beer and get into heated arguments over which episode of "The Littlest Hobo" was the best or who can do the best Don Cherry impression. At that point, it’s only natural that things would degenerate into an old-fashioned brawl, with everyone suddenly chopping each other’s chests and flinging steel chairs around until the Canadian police very politely knock on the door and ask if we could please keep the noise down. Then we all apologize to each other, eh?
MORE: Aside from Canadian brawls, the greatest WrestleMania matches of all time
Really, if the Hart Dungeon hadn’t allowed a large chunk of angry Canadians to work out their aggressions in the ring, Canada might have descended into full-on civil war over "Corner Gas" arguments years ago.
But thankfully, we did have the Dungeon in Calgary training our young men and women to be practitioners of the art of grappling, and a bunch of them even made it to the WWE and had great matches in the process. Here’s ten of them.
Ironically, none of these matches are from the two WrestleMania shows that emanated from Canada. But, you know, that’s Canada, always stepping aside and giving credit to others first.
10. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, WrestleMania 19.
Kicking off the list is a match that I have since grown to love and appreciate more and more as time has passed, like a finely aged poutine. Michaels returned to the ring in 2002 after being retired the previous four years due to a back injury, and there was a lot of doubt about whether he was going to be a special attraction part-timer or someone who could still bring it.
Well, he brought it, as Michaels and Jericho delivered a classic scientific match, ending with Michaels getting a surprise pin and then Jericho kicking him in the crotch in a very non-Canadian show of poor sportsmanship. Regardless, this kicked off a whole other career for Shawn as “Mr. WrestleMania” and solidified Jericho as a slimy jerk not to be messed with.
9. British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team, WrestleMania 2
One of the sole bright spots of an otherwise terrible show, this tag team classic featured the Bulldogs (who, despite having “British” in their name, I am counting as honorary Canadians because Bret Hart does and that’s good enough for me) finally winning the tag team titles from Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake after months of chasing them.
The match was memorable for the finishing sequence, where Dynamite Kid literally sacrificed his own body by allowing Davey Boy Smith to slam Valentine into his friend’s own head and get the pin. Of course, the camera basically missed Kid’s spectacular plunge off the top rope to the floor which resulted from that move, and chose to focus on Captain Lou Albano and Ozzy Osbourne instead. Still, this was a great match in a sea of drek on the night.
8. Money In The Bank 1, WrestleMania 21
This one makes the list because it contained 50 percent Canadian content (which would be more than enough for the CRTC to license it) in the form of Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit and Edge. It was also was the very first Money in the Bank match, the chaotic multi-man ladder match that awarded a magic briefcase to the winner which could be “cashed in” at any time for a World Title shot. It was a brilliant concept (reportedly pitched by Jericho) that was something legitimately new and different in a sport where we’d seen it all before. Plus, it was a great match which wasn’t bogged down by the usual tropes of ladder matches like slow-climbing or overly complex spots.
Edge claimed the first ever briefcase and suddenly had a new character as an opportunistic scumbag, making himself a star in the process.
7. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit, WrestleMania 17
This was such an odd one because it was completely slapped together at the last minute, with everyone pretty much realizing neither guy had a match on the biggest show of the year. So Kurt Angle said “Let’s fight” and Chris Benoit said “Them’s fighting words!” and there you go. It was a technical masterpiece, albeit with a weak enough ending that I can’t put it higher up the list in good conscience. After 15 minutes of masterful mat-wrestling, Angle suddenly won the match with a rollup, and that was that.
Still, it showed that Benoit was fully capable of hanging with Angle even in a high-level wrestling match, and it was one of the many reasons why WrestleMania 17 is the greatest of all time.
6. Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper, WrestleMania 8
Although there’s technical arguments about Piper’s innate Canadian-ness, I’m claiming him. This was a great match, with a great story, and even a great story behind the story as well.
Bret had made noise about going to WCW at the beginning of 1992, but didn’t realize that his contract automatically rolled over after expiry due to not giving notice in advance of it running out. So he quickly dropped the Intercontinental title to the Mountie, who then passed it to Roddy Piper just as fast. With Bret’s contract situation then sorted out, he got the first shot at Piper at WrestleMania after years of being friends.
The story of the match was “Who would cheat first and screw over their friend?," which led to Piper being tempted to hit Hart with a ringbell before opting for the virtuous route and thus costing himself the title. The lesson, kids, is always cheat if given the chance. Do unto others before they do unto you. Some free life advice.
Also, a funny story behind the match, as promised: Hart was busted open and started bleeding freely during the match, during a time period when Vince McMahon was desperately trying to eliminate blood due to media pressures. McMahon was furious upon seeing it, but Hart somehow conned him into thinking that it was a completely accidental cut on his forehead. Later in the night, Ric Flair tried the same tactic and nearly got fired over it, which shows that Bret is not only a great wrestler, but a better liar as well.
5. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H, WrestleMania 20
This is a fantastic match, but of course events that occurred a few years afterwards have since soured its legacy. In fact, the description of the main event on the WWE Network simply reads “Triple H defends his World title." Yes, clearly Shawn Michaels cutting his hair must not have gone down too well with the higher-ups.
Anyway, Chris Benoit won the Royal Rumble in a spectacular one-man performance to earn a shot at Triple H, but Shawn Michaels muscled his way into the match to settle things with his frenemy, and a classic three-way was born.
This was, at the time, one of the pinnacles of my fandom, and I remember frantically yelling at the screen with every near-fall, and yelling “TAP! TAP! TAP!” with my friends as Benoit locked the Crossface on Triple H for the win. Canada was proud!
Three years later, we were much less proud, of course.
4 and 3: The Dudley Boyz v. The Hardy Boyz v. Edge and Christian, WrestleManias 16 and 17.
Choosing between the two ladder matches would be grossly unfair, like trying to decide between ketchup chips and All-Dressed chips, or trying to pick the best episode of "The Beachcombers." So I won’t.
They’re both great matches and hugely influential, pretty much defining the whole style that all the indy guys are still aping today. It also is a lot of the reasons why Jeff Hardy has a painkiller issue and Edge and Christian were both forced into early retirement.
The first three-way ladder match between them, at the quaintly named WrestleMania 2000, was a wave of change for the tag team division at the time, sweeping aside the stale, slow-moving teams like the New Age Outlaws and APA and replacing them with younger, hungrier teams who grew up watching the WWF.
Edge and Christian won the match and their first tag team titles, kicking of an amazing run of eight title reigns. The rematch in 2001, aptly named “Tables, Ladders & Chairs," was somehow even crazier, adding the secondary forces of Lita, Rhyno and Spike Dudley into the mix and standing as another highlight of the all-time great WrestleMania X-7.
2. Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart, WrestleMania 10.
Arguably the greatest opening match of all time, and a match that would have stood as a show-stealing all-time classic on its own — had a little match involving a ladder not blown everyone away later in the night.
This was the culmination of a Hart family feud, with Owen turning his back on his brother at Royal Rumble and demanding respect on his own terms.
This was not only a scientific classic that the brothers had been preparing for their entire lives, but also a delicate balancing act. The story of the match was that Bret, the older brother, was beating up his smaller, younger brother and the danger was that people would be sympathetic to Owen and turn on Bret.
Thankfully, Owen was so incredibly unlikeable playing the whiny character that no one could possibly cheer him, and the match unfolded exactly as they wanted. After 20 minutes of classic action, Bret tried the victory roll that he used to win the King of the Ring tournament in 1993, and Owen was one step ahead and reversed him into a cradle for the pin. It was a masterpiece from both men and a match that neither man was able to ever top. Well, except for that one match Bret had…
1. Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin, WrestleMania 13.
Really, what else could it be?
This was the match that turned Bret Hart into a hated anti-American monster (albeit a national hero in Canada) while simultaneously making Austin into a living superhero who chose to pass out from pain and blood loss rather than surrender. A hellacious brawl that nearly saved the disaster that was WrestleMania 13, it wasn’t even the match that was supposed to happen! Bret was supposed to challenging Shawn Michaels for the WWF title in a rematch from the Iron Man match the year before, but Shawn lost his smile and forfeited the title, leaving Bret bitter and angry.
MORE: WrestleMania matches that failed to deliver — or didn't happen
By this time, Vince was fully on board with blood again, giving us one of the most iconic scenes in wrestling history: Steve Austin trapped in the Sharpshooter, face covered in blood, but defiant to the end. Bret was pretty good too, but this one was all about Austin, and easily not only the greatest WrestleMania match in history for my money, but one of the greatest matches ever, full stop.
