PITTSBURGH — Mike Sullivan hates fun.
That’s the only logical explanation for why, after a glorious few hours that filled fans of chaos with hope and mirth — mirth! — the Penguins' coach failed to play Tom Sestito on Wednesday night.
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It would’ve been hilarious and stupid and maybe horrible, and something eminently writable would’ve happened. Instead, Sullivan had to settle for a 3-2 overtime win and a 3-1 lead over the Capitals in the Eastern Conference semifinals. Very boring.
The series had taken a turn for the dumb; each team had a suspended defenseman to deal with, and players of all stripes were taking shots of varying degrees. It was a powder keg, and Sestito, seemingly ready to draw in for one of Pittsburgh’s injured forwards, was a dead guarantee to blow it up.
When he’s in the NHL, Sestito is there to start trouble, and until Wednesday, he wasn’t there at all; Pittsburgh recalled him from AHL Wilkes-Barre after a Game 3 win and injuries to Eric Fehr and Bryan Rust. The assumption was that he and, say, Capitals winger Tom Wilson would meet up during Game 4 and eat each other or something.
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And it was fair — look at what Sestito said Wednesday morning: “I think people are going to be hitting everybody. Maybe they answer the bell. Maybe they don’t. But I’m going to be out there dishing out the same hits they are.”
Man, it sounded great. It sounded perfect. Sestito would enter, and the stage would be set; Sullivan and the Penguins would get away from the way they prefer to play, the style that's made them the best team in the East since the start of 2016, and the lineup that put them up on Washington in the first place. Chase hits. Protect yourself. Act stupid. Punch people. Who cares?
When Sestito went out for warmups, it really seemed like it’d happen; Fehr was wearing a suit in the press box, and Rust, though dressed, hadn’t been able to finish Game 3. Oskar Sundqvist was a natural replacement, because he could center the fourth line and allow Matt Cullen to move up, and then Sestito could play right wing next to Sundqvist.
Everything was falling into place. We were going to have a terrific shot at witnessing something very stupid, like Sestito and Wilson falling to the ice and kicking one another, or getting their heads stuck in their jerseys.
Instead, Rust wound up healthy and ruined everything. Sullivan called him “a literal game-time decision.”
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He wound up on the right side of a line with Evgeni Malkin and Chris Kunitz; no regular group of Pittsburgh forwards controlled the puck as well as those three, and Rust was a big part of it.
“I thought he was terrific,” Sullivan said, “He brings so much speed to our lineup. Regardless of what line we put him on, he helps us keep the puck. With the way he chases pucks down, I think he’s hard to play against. He's in people's faces. He’s finishing checks. He’s going to the net.”
And Sullivan is right; Pittsburgh’s system works best when it’s fast, and neither Malkin nor Kunitz, for varying reasons, consistently brings speed. It was easy to watch Rust do that on Wednesday
“(Rust) puts defensemen under pressure so they’ve got to make plays quickly, and a lot of times that forces errant passes,” Sullivan said.
But could he go face-to-face with Wilson and poke him in the eye? Would he have challenged him to a head-butting contest? Would he creep into the hallway between shifts and nail Washington’s dressing room door shut?
What about Sundqvist? He played about 12 decent minutes (50.0 Corsi percentage) and was on the ice for Pittsburgh's second goal. Didn't see him head-butting anyone or covering any doors with plywood.
Sestito might’ve. Anything would’ve been possible. Instead, we got stuck watching a hockey game. Shame.