PITTSBURGH — Leave it to Joe Thornton to, somehow, turn a line about the animal pelt stuck to his face into some sort of zen koan.
“You know what, with beards, you just gotta start ‘em," the Sharks center said on Sunday at Media Day for the Stanley Cup Final. "And usually, they’ll get big.”
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Thornton hasn't shaved since November, and thus looks insane. Sporting News can confirm that the beard is even more glorious in person. There's even more ... coloration going on than we initially thought.
The look came out of nowhere; we all expect it from Brent Burns. Less so with Thornton — at some point in February, it seems that everyone simultaneously realized that he looked like a Civil War re-enactor.
Thornton's getting tips from "two mentors: his older brother John, who normally has a beard, and Burns, who is an actual Wookiee.
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“Burnsie, he really actually helps me. He gets me all the oils, the combs," Thornton said. "In the morning you get up, you gotta oil a little bit, comb it a little bit, and then at night, you’ve got to take care of it. ... It looks pretty but it's hard work."
Everyone laughed at the last line, including Thornton, who barely seems to like it himself.
“We got a new cat recently, and she loves putting her paws in it. Other than that, I don’t think it’s very nice, personally.”
Thornton is 1-for-2 where it counts: "Well, my young lady loves it. My five-year-old loves it. But my -- I don’t think she wants me to tell how old she is, she hates it."
The beard's future: Unknowable. Thornton said he could shave tomorrow, but ...
"It’s day-to-day. I could come back 10 years from now and still have it."