Free-agent defensive end Ryan Russell opened up about his sexuality in a letter published Thursday that reveals he's bisexual.
Russell explained that he has two goals: "returning to the NFL, and living my life openly."
"Those two objectives shouldn't be in conflict. But judging from the fact that there isn't a single openly LGBTQ player in the NFL, NBA, Major League Baseball or the NHL, brings me pause," Russell wrote in a letter published by ESPN . "I want to change that — for me, for other athletes who share these common goals, and for the generations of LGBTQ athletes who will come next."
While he searches for his next team after missing the entire 2018 season because of a shoulder injury from 2017, Russell said he regrets that teams don't know who he truly is when he goes in for interviews and/or workouts. He had a recent encounter with one unidentified team that left him wanting to make his sexuality public amid free agency.
"Have I lied to teammates, coaches, trainers, front-office executives and fans about who I am? Not exactly," Russell wrote. "But withholding information is a form of deceit. And I want the next part of my career — and life — steeped in trust and honesty. During the season you spend more time with your team than with your own family; truth and honesty are the cornerstones of a winning culture. My truth is that I'm a talented football player, a damn good writer, a loving son, an overbearing brother, a caring friend, a loyal lover, and a bisexual man."
Russell went on to explain some of the challenges he's faced in the NFL while trying to hide his sexuality:
"Pursuing a career in the NFL is such an intense challenge that I began to compromise my personal world — and my personal happiness. Though I confided in close friends and family and gave myself permission to date both men and women discreetly, I deprived myself the basic privilege of living an open life.
"That meant I had to be strategic and cautious about meeting guys or getting involved with them during the regular season. It also meant that even though I was building important friendships on my team, I couldn't be authentic or honest about who I am or what was going on in my life. I wasn't always fully present in the locker room.
"Being an NFL-quality teammate takes more than just excelling on the field. It comes with common trust built by knowing your teammate is physically and mentally fortified. You know the man next to you as well as you know yourself and you, in turn, trust him irrevocably. If you aren't fully present and authentic in the training facility, you simply can't be a standout teammate."
Russell was selected by the Cowboys in the fifth round of the 2015 draft. He played for the Cowboys for one season before two seasons with the Buccaneers, where he played in 14 games and had two sacks. Russell said he felt like he was a better teammate when he was comfortable in his own skin.
"After my departure from the Dallas Cowboys, confiding in a few loved ones about who I am, and getting a new chance to play for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, I started feeling the freedom of transparency — even if it was small at first — and the fear of people finding out and rejecting me slowly dissipated," Russell wrote. "I was able to play and start at the highest level in the (football) world, and felt like I belonged."
Russell continued in the letter: "That brings me to today, and the biggest challenge yet: Can I bring these two worlds together?"
The 27-year-old defensive end said he hopes to change the narrative around LGBTQ players in the league, adding he wants to "to play ball for a team that knows me off the field and values me on it."
"There are a lot of problems in the world, and a lot of issues facing the NFL," Russell wrote. "And I can say with confidence that LGBTQ players having the comfort to be themselves, date who they want, share parts of their life with friends and teammates will not rank among those issues. I feel as though this could be a step toward that future."