HOOVER, Ala. — We’ve reached the theater of the absurd here. Like it doesn’t always come to this, anyway.
And wouldn’t you know it, Johnny Manziel still has his look at me aura in the middle of it all. Whether he likes it or not.
Kevin Sumlin, who before Manziel arrived on campus at Texas A&M was a no nonsense guy if there ever was one, stood at the podium at SEC Media Days and had to respond to this first question out of the box.
What’s it like to not coach Johnny Manziel?
He smiled, he hesitated. He responded.
“Let me get this straight, the question was what’s it like not coaching Johnny Manziel?”
Just in case you thought it couldn’t get worse, it did. Oh, it did.
The coach who arrived here with Texas A&M two years ago as the program that didn’t belong; who showed up last year as the team that should win it all, stepped into it this year as the guy who still is responsible for football’s biggest free spirit since Joe Namath himself.
How’s that for a connection? Joe Willie, of course, played his college ball at Alabama.
So we’ve got that going for us.
“He got asked what?” said Tennessee coach Butch Jones.
So I told Jones again: A member of the media later asked Sumlin if he had seen Manziel’s latest exploits on social media, and if he had reached out to Manziel — who left A&M months ago for the NFL — to counsel him.
Sumlin’s response: “Is this SEC Media Days? That’s a great question about the Cleveland Browns. Anybody else got something?”
We always reach this point here amid the heat and humidity of another suburban Birmingham summer. If it’s not Phillip Fulmer avoiding Media Days and performing his duties via speakerphone because he didn’t want to be served papers in a lawsuit that claimed he allegedly steered the NCAA to Alabama (you can’t make up this stuff, people), it’s Steve Spurrier dressing down former commissioner Roy Kramer for the lack of a national playoff.
If it’s not short-timer Vanderbilt coach Robbie Caldwell explaining his job as a turkey inseminator, it’s a media member asking Tim Tebow if he’s still a virgin.
Why should this nonsense be any different?
“Coach told us to expect the unexpected here,” said Texas A&M cornerback Deshazor Everett.
Which is sort of like Texas A&M, 2014. The supernova Manziel is gone, and the Aggies will start one of two quarterbacks who haven’t proven a thing on the road at South Carolina, in a hostile environment, in the first game for the new SEC Network.
The coach — who has recruited better than anyone in college football not named Saban — says there is no admission of rebuilding. He and the Aggies already raised the bar; they’ve already proven they can win with a quarterback who hadn’t taken a snap in his career (Manziel), and might have to do it again this fall with freshman signee Kyle Allen.
They might have to do it with another freshman (DE Myles Garrett) as the best player on defense when he walked through the doors this summer.
“Our expectations aren’t going to change,” Sumlin said. “We don’t have time for a bunch of rebuilding years. There will be another guy standing up here real quick.”
Minutes later, Sumlin was asked about the early morning hours of this day, when South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier kicked off the day of nonsense (when does he not?) by proclaiming Sumlin as a great coach — and a great contract negotiator.
The man who months earlier signed a contract that moved him into the No. 3 spot among college coaches ($5 million per) despite never winning a conference championship, saw this one coming.
“Just had to get that out there, didn’t you, right,” Sumlin said with a smile. Or maybe it was an annoyed smile. Who could tell at that point?
“I see you guys stirring the pot, trying to bring me in. It’s Year 3; you’re not going to get me on that.”
Too late for that. Good or bad, Sumlin is now part of SEC Media Days lore.