If you didn't catch the end of Monday night's game between the Rockets and the Clippers, uh, a few things happened.
After an intense battle ended on the floor with a 113-102 victory for the Clippers, Chris Paul, James Harden, Trevor Ariza and Gerald Green reportedly continued their beef with Blake Griffin and Austin Rivers by marching through a back corridor into LA's locker room. There was no actual fight, only jawing back and forth as security pushed the Rockets outside. (Yes, this actually happened. NBA action... It's fantastic!)
MORE: NBA Twitter has hilarious reactions to Rockets-Clippers beef
But the entertainment value here didn't come from just the sheer absurdity of the incident itself — it was how it all went down. This calls for a ranking of the details surrounding the Rockets-Clippers kerfuffle. In reverse order...
Honorable mention: Gerald Green jumped into this whole thing with no hesitation.
Green signed a non-guaranteed deal with the Rockets on Dec. 28. He had been with the team less than a month, and he was down for whatever. Green is basically Jeremy Renner's character in "The Town."
"I need your help. I can't tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later and we're gonna hurt some people."
"Which car are we gonna take?"
5. Austin Rivers was a target, and he didn't even play.
Total minutes logged by Rivers on Monday night: ZERO. Rivers, who sitting in a suit with an ankle injury, managed to annoy the hell out of the Rockets from the LA bench. ESPN's Adrian Wojnarowski reports Rivers was "especially belligerent" near the end of the game, and he didn't change much after the final buzzer. When Rivers saw Ariza near the entrance to the Clippers' locker room, he said, "Let his b— ass come in," according to Sports Illustrated's Lee Jenkins.
This also marked the first time in NBA history a player could tell on his opponents to his parents: "Daaaaad, Ariza is being a jerk right now!"
4. The LAPD had to get involved.
Members of the Los Angeles Police Department were reportedly called to the scene to make sure the situation didn't escalate into a brawl. This piece of information was simply too much for the "Inside the NBA" crew to handle.
3. Chris Paul is the president of the National Basketball Players Association.
If you head over to the NBPA website, you'll see Paul's face front and center. Want to guess who serves as the Rockets' player representative? That would be Mr. Ariza.
And by the way, if you click on the "About & History" section, you may notice Paul is wearing a very non-Rockets jersey.
The absolute best part of Paul's status is the message expressing why the NBPA exists: "The NBPA is the union for current professional basketball players in the NBA. Established in 1954, the mission of the NBPA is to ensure that every conceivable measure is taken to assist players in maximizing their opportunities and achieving their goals, both on and off the court."
Alternative statement: "The mission of the NBPA is to ensure that every conceivable measure is taken to assist players in maximizing their opportunities to sneak up on the Clippers when they are most vulnerable and deliver a can of whoop-ass straight to Blake's locker."
2. The Rockets used a "secret tunnel" to sneak into the Clippers' locker room.
OK, so it's not really a secret.
Hilarious to think of CP3 leading the Rockets through secret passages Mission Impossible style. Sadly, not like that. If you are in a Staples Center locker room twice, you know about those hallways back there. Still, they did head that way.
— Jonathan Feigen (@Jonathan_Feigen) January 16, 2018
But come on, man! Just let us have fun with this!
Imagine Paul paying off a Staples Center employee for the original blueprints of the arena, rolling them out across a table in the Rockets' locker room and circling an entry point. Then Paul, Harden, Ariza and Green throw on some ski masks and walk down the corridor with "Ocean's Eleven" music playing in the background.
Let's assume Paul had this conversation with Harden before they decided to ask Green to join.
1. Clint Capela created a diversion and awkwardly stood in front of the door.
Please, please let someone eventually reveal video of Capela wondering what exactly he had gotten himself into by agreeing to be the Trojan Horse in this scenario.
Capela's performance, as described by Wojnarowski:
"As the drama unfolded later, Rockets center Clint Capela walked down the main corridor and banged on the front entrance to the Clippers' locker room, league sources said. Soon, a Clippers staff member opened the door and looked up to see Capela, a formidable 6-foot-10 figure, standing in the doorway.
"She shut the door in Capela's face. For a few moments, Capela stood there, unsure how to proceed. Before long, Capela walked back to the Rockets' locker room, showered and headed for the bus with the rest of the Rockets."
That's the winner. There's no beating a giant man standing uncomfortably after being rejected at the door.
Did the staff member shut the door in a panic? Was it more of a "man, get the hell outta here" type of thing? And did Capela do the Charlie Brown walk back to the locker room?
This moment will remain funny forever. Thank you, Clint.
