Four things I learned from watching Monty Williams speak at his wife's funeral

Nick Birdsong

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Four things I learned from watching Monty Williams speak at his wife's funeral image

They say you can truly tell what a person believes by how he or she lives. 

Never was that more evident than in the humility, strength and courage Thunder assistant coach Monty Williams exhibited when he stepped up to speak Thursday at the funeral of his wife, Ingrid, the mother of his five children, who died of injuries suffered in a car wreck a week ago.

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Honestly, I have no idea how to look at what Williams did objectively, so I'm not going to attempt to do it. His words had a profound impact on me, and I presume they will on others as well. Here's what I gleaned: 

1. He is looking without. 

What those in attendance witnessed was not a grand display of inner strength. The 44-year-old made that clear from the moment his seven-minute address began. He said he was encouraged by the more than 900 mourners on hand, including relatives and friends, some of whom flew in just for the day to be there for him. Beyond them, Williams was empowered by God, lifting up his eyes and looking to the hills for His help. Williams quoted a series of Bible verses (Ps. 73:1, 133:1, Rom. 8:28, 1 John 4:16) as his inspiration to keep on. 

"What we've gone through is pretty tough, and it's hard and we want an answer," Williams said. "And we don't always get that answer when we want it, but we can't lose sight of the fact that God loves us, and that's what my wife, and that's what I try to, however badly, exhibit on a daily basis. But God does love us."

Williams continued: "He loved me so much that He sent His Son to die for my sins, and I, for one, know that I am not the man that you guys see every day and only God could cover that. He loved me so much that He gave me a wife that loved every part of me, and she fit me perfectly."

2. He is focused on what he has as opposed to what he doesn't. 

Williams didn't appear, primarily, as a man mourning the loss of his better half, but as one thankful he got to spend 20-plus years with her. Although he'll often look back, he's grateful for and eager to tend to what his wife gave him — "five crumb snatchers." 

3. His faith is founded on something significant.

Williams believes that somehow, some way, God will work out this situation, and that he's not simply hoping against hope. He's banking on past experiences. 

He harkened back to 1990, his first season at Notre Dame, when doctors discovered a heart condition and told him he would die if he kept playing basketball. 

"We had a press conference and I left the press conference by myself and I went to (Ingrid's) dorm room and I told her what happened," Williams said. "And the very next words out of her mouth after we probably cried a little bit was, she said, 'Honey, Jesus can heal your heart.'" 

Williams went on to become a first-round pick in the NBA Draft and play nine years before joining the coaching ranks. 

4. He is forgiving.

This might have been the most startling thing about Williams' address. He said neither he nor his family hold any ill will toward the late Susannah Donaldson, the 52-year-old woman who was driving 92 mph, according to police, when she swerved and crashed into Ingrid's vehicle. Donaldson was also killed in the crash.

You can watch Williams' speech in its entirety on the Thunder's Web site. 

If that isn't an incredible perspective, considering the circumstances, I don't know what it is.

Nick Birdsong