This article was written on March 8, 2018.
"It’s one of them things that no matter how indestructible we look like we are, we’re all human at the end of the day."
Those are the words of Raptors star DeMar DeRozan regarding the challenges of dealing with mental health issues. DeRozan opened up about his battles with depression to the Toronto Star's Doug Smith after sending out a surprisingly honest tweet last month.
This depression get the best of me...
— DeMar DeRozan (@DeMar_DeRozan) February 17, 2018
"Now, at my age, I understand how many people go through it," DeRozan said. "Even if it’s just somebody can look at it like, ‘He goes through it and he’s still out there being successful and doing this,’ I’m OK with that."
DeRozan's refreshing candor opened the door for Cavs forward Kevin Love to address his own challenges. In a first-person piece shared by The Players' Tribune on Tuesday, Love details how he handled a sudden panic attack during a game against the Hawks on Nov. 5 and why his stance on mental health quickly changed following the incident.
"It was a wake-up call, that moment," Love said. "I’d thought the hardest part was over after I had the panic attack. It was the opposite. Now I was left wondering why it happened — and why I didn’t want to talk about it... This was new territory for me, and it was pretty confusing. But I was certain about one thing: I couldn’t bury what had happened and try to move forward. As much as part of me wanted to, I couldn’t allow myself to dismiss the panic attack and everything underneath it. I didn’t want to have to deal with everything sometime in the future, when it might be worse. I knew that much."
With assistance from the Cavs, Love found a therapist and learned to accept the fact that he needed help after years of believing opening up was a "form of weakness" that could derail his success. Love credited DeRozan with normalizing the conversation surrounding these types of issues and creating an opportunity for others to do the same.
"One of the reasons I wanted to write this comes from reading DeMar’s comments last week about depression," Love said. "I’ve played against DeMar for years, but I never could’ve guessed that he was struggling with anything. It really makes you think about how we are all walking around with experiences and struggles — all kinds of things — and we sometimes think we’re the only ones going through them. The reality is that we probably have a lot in common with what our friends and colleagues and neighbors are dealing with...
"Because just by sharing what he shared, DeMar probably helped some people — and maybe a lot more people than we know — feel like they aren’t crazy or weird to be struggling with depression. His comments helped take some power away from that stigma, and I think that’s where the hope is."
It's true. Simply confronting and talking about what you're feeling takes away the unnecessary shame all too often associated with these problems — and I know this from personal experience.
I have wrestled with depression throughout my life — probably more than half of my 27 years of existence if I'm being honest — with varying degrees of success. As a teenager, I couldn't understand why I suddenly didn't feel things as strongly as I did when I was just a kid running around without a care in the world.
For me, depression wasn't a switch that flipped my basic emotions from happy to sad. It turned everything off. I didn't feel joy or a sense of accomplishment in doing something well. I didn't laugh when I saw something funny. I didn't even feel frustration when I lost playing basketball or a video game. It was all a collective shrug. The sadness and anger came later from not understanding why I wasn't feeling anything.
I thought I was bringing down the mood of everyone around me. That's when I really went to a dark place and wondered if removing myself from the equation was the best solution. I understood why others got to the place where hurting themselves seemed like a good option. At least you feel something, even if it's just pain.
Behind the incredible support of my family, I realized I had a problem. I visited a doctor and learned my depression was caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain. I took medication and visited a therapist on a regular basis. I told myself, "You head to the hospital as quickly as possible if you break a bone, so it doesn't make sense not to treat this, right?" And Love is correct about sitting in that room — it's definitely "terrifying and awkward and hard." But the more you do it, the easier it becomes, one small step at a time.
The same goes for the conversation about mental health in society. As prominent NBA players, Love and DeRozan can reach millions of people instantly with their platforms. (Love's tweet sharing his story hit more than 20,000 retweets in a few hours.) If these professional athletes promote their situations as displays of strength instead of weakness, more young men may recognize there is nothing "soft" about expressing yourself. It takes incredible bravery.
My voice is not as loud as Love's or DeRozan's, but I'll gladly add it to the conversation if it means just one more person might hear the message. You don't have to put yourself on a national stage, but reaching out to someone is better than, as Love said, keeping those emotions "buried inside." You will only help yourself, and there's a good chance you will also help someone else along the way.
