John Oliver didn't even have to leave his desk to throw down a thunderous dunk on Dwight Howard.
On Sunday night's episode of "Last Week Tonight," Oliver started a segment about global trade with a joke at Howard's expense. The 32-year-old center has been traded the past two offseasons, giving Oliver an opportunity for an easy finish at the rim.
MORE: Howard wants to become his own version of Durant ... or something?
"Trade — the basic system of barter and exchange that you have to do really carefully, or you'll end up with Dwight Howard," Oliver said.
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— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) August 20, 2018
"Seriously, parents, talk to your children about trade," Oliver continued. "You don’t want them going to school with pizza Lunchables and coming home with Dwight Howard. You think he’s going to add a 3-point shot to his game now, kid? Grow up."
That's rough, but you have to give credit to Oliver and his writing staff for the attention to detail. The bags Howard brings into the home are marked "snakes" and "Skittles." Howard had 20 pet snakes at one point, and he used to eat an alarming amount of sugar. (A Lakers nutritionist told ESPN's Baxter Holmes that Howard would inhale "about two dozen chocolate bars' worth of sugar every single day.")
Maybe Howard can avoid the jokes this time and make it work with the Wizards after brief stops in Atlanta and Charlotte. Oliver probably won't be purchasing season tickets, but we know another guy named John is eager to see him on the court.
You can watch the full segment from "Last Week Tonight" above. (Note: Oliver uses strong language, so it's best to avoid playing this video at max volume if your boss is walking around the office.)
