Rockets unveil three new alternate jerseys; they're all trash

Nick Birdsong

Rockets unveil three new alternate jerseys; they're all trash image

The Rockets unveiled not one, not two, but three new alternate uniforms Tuesday, and not one, not two, but all three of them aren't that great. 

Using rookie Sam Dekker, perennial all-star Dwight Howard, and 7-footer Donatus Motiejunas as models, the Rockets broke out a pair of sleeved jerseys (silver and red) as well as a black number. Let's take a look at the trio. 

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Check out the new Silver alternate jersey @dwighthoward is rocking. These will debut November 25th. #Pursuit

A photo posted by Houston Rockets (@houstonrockets) on

 

The Rockets billed these joints as silver. There's nothing shimmering about them. There's no shine whatsoever; therefore, they get relegated to gray. There's nothing wrong with gray. It just isn't a proper canvas for red and black. The color scheme is already off. Then, you add the unsightly stripes around the biceps area and the checkerboard pattern going down the side, and you get a great, big bucket of fail.

 

 

@donatas_motiejunas sporting the new Clutch City pride jersey that the Rockets will debut November 14th.

A photo posted by Houston Rockets (@houstonrockets) on

 

These are the "Clutch City pride" jerseys, but if I were from Houston I'd be ashamed the NBA team representing my city will be wearing these. This jersey is only slightly better than the gray monstrosities. I can see where they were trying to go, bringing back their traditional colors and utilizing the nickname the city was given during the team's championship era (I think "H-Town" would've been doper, though), but the thing just doesn't work for me. It comes across as a little rec league-ish, and the numbers on the front of the jersey look as if they were stamped between "Clutch" and "City" as an afterthought.

It's a new-age throwback. The only problem is it doesn't enhance the look of the uniforms from the 1980s and '90s. Hakeem Olajuwon and Ralph Sampson didn't pull all those rebounds for this. If the gray jerseys are an F, these are an F+.

 

 

@samdek7 is wearing the Space City black alternate jersey. The Rockets will be debuting this in 2016-17.

A photo posted by Houston Rockets (@houstonrockets) on

 

The Space City black alternates are actually dope. I like these, but it doesn't matter. In the same way bad company spoils good character, the gray and Clutch City jerseys' ugliness make these look bad. They're ugly by association. The Space City design is set to debut in the 2016-17 season. That might give me long enough to act like I never saw the other two.

One out of three is bad. 

Houston, the city that gave us Scarface (Note: Please peep his new album "Deeply Rooted," if you haven't already), we have a problem. 

Nick Birdsong