Eddie Alvarez is taking his UFC 205 loss to Conor McGregor hard.
The now-former lightweight champion penned an emotional Instagram post Tuesday addressing the loss.
“As for my performance, the only thing I can honestly say was I f—g blew it ... I did nothing I trained, I did the complete opposite of what we planned on a daily basis for 10 weeks,” Alvarez wrote. “To sum up our plan in a sentence it was ‘go left and mostly wrestle’ instead I circled into his left hand and mostly boxed. Fighting the way I did was a for sure death sentence and the result was fitting.”
MORE: Is McGregor the UFC's greatest villain?
Alvarez, 32, fell victim to a four-punch flurry from McGregor in the second round. The fight was called seconds after he hit the mat.
UFC president Dana White said the event broke every viewership record set by company, so Alvarez (28-5) will get a serious payout despite the loss, but that hasn’t helped his psyche much.
“I thought in my head at least making a lot of money would make me happy but I am having a lot of trouble enjoying myself regardless of the check that's going to be written,” he said. “I am very uneasy and discontent for the most part. I am lucky to have my wife and my child at a time like this to help me laugh and smile and let me know everything's gonna be all right, they are my saving Grace, without them I am a shell of a man.”
You can read the full, unedited post below:
The full caption is below:
"Congrats to Connor and his camp on an amazing accomplishment, these guys continue to deliver, hats off to you fellas. As for my performance, the only thing I can honestly say was I f—ing blew it ... I did nothing I trained, I did the complete opposite of what we planned on a daily basis for 10 weeks. To sum up our plan in a sentence it was "Go left and mostly wrestle " instead I circled into his left hand and mostly boxed. Fighting the way I did was a for sure death sentence and the result was fitting. I say it all the time, there is really small margin for error at this level and I paid for my mistakes. I managed to make it to the biggest stage and audience in my long career and f—ed it all up when I arrived, my heart sincerely hurts and when I dwell on it I fill up with regret and anger. If there was a list of what not to do against an Opponent of this nature I did them all on Saturday. I am disappointed in myself and this is not a reflection of my coaches, training Partners, and the endless hours of training I commit to this sport. Every Time I get into the cage I negotiate being vulnerable and possibly embarrassed against the opportunity to do something great and Grow more. I always choose the latter regardless of the uncomfortability and anxiety it brings to me, I think this choice is the only reason I ever succeeded in the first place. I thought in my head at least making a lot of money would make me happy but I am having a lot of trouble enjoying myself regardless of the check thats going to be written, I am very uneasy and discontent for the most part. I am lucky to have my wife and my child at a time like this to help me laugh and smile and let me know everything's gonna be all right, they are my saving Grace, without them I am a shell of a man. Besides the outcome I thoroughly enjoyed fight week and the lead up, it was a lot fun. I have never defined myself off one win and I'll never define myself off one loss, I simply had a bad night.. I'll have the opportunity again to have a good one, and I'll make the Walk to see what I got Everytime. Thanx for listening -EA"