Best fantasy football team names 2019

Matt Lutovsky

Best fantasy football team names 2019 image

What's your favorite part of fantasy draft season? Is it poring over rankings and auction values? Doing mock drafts? Debating draft strategy? Arguing over sleepers and busts? Creating your own cheat sheet? Or is it challenging yourself to come up with the funniest, most creative (and possibly offensive), and best fantasy football team name you can think of? 

Let's face it -- your fantasy team is probably going to be terrible this year. Hey, we don't judge. We know it's not (entirely) your fault. How were you supposed to know your first-round RB wouldn't get goal-line carries or your third-round WR was going to tear an ACL in Week 3? It happens to the best of us, and accepting that fate before the season starts is a good way to save yourself four months of misery while you lose money playing this hellish waste of time we call a "hobby".

DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2019 Fantasy Cheat Sheet

But here's something you can control -- whether your buddies chuckle/smirk/grimace briefly when they see your team name. It really is the highest form of fantasy-related flattery because you did that. You didn't get lucky with some 12th-round rando who lucked his way into playing time. No, you used your very own brain and came up with a semi-clever pun based on one of your player's names, a pop culture reference, or an inside joke.

Or maybe you don't even want to do that much work. Hey, you're busy, important, and good-looking. That's why we're here to help with a whole buttload of puns that range from "I hate you" to "What?" to "Oh, right...I get it." We fully admit that we can't supply the best team names because most of those are either too offensive or involve an inside joke we couldn't possibly help you with.

We have a lot of classics on the list, such as "Nuthin' But a Jimmy G Thang", "Pimpin' Aint Breesy", "King of the JuJus", and "Death Ertz-tificate", but there are some new hits, such as "Chubby Chasers", "All You Can Ito", and "Cobra Kyler". Clean, easy, fun.

You won't get all (most?) of the references, but it's 2019 so just use Google if you care that much. Hopefully you can find something useful -- or at least be inspired to come up with something better after being disgusted by the list below. Either way, you're in the right place if you're looking to start your season off right.

Week 1 Non-PPR Rankings:
Quarterback | Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | D/ST | Kicker

Best fantasy football team names for 2019

Baker of Chains

Mayfield of Dreams

Baker Mayfields Forever

Shake-N-Bakers

Baking Bad

King of the JuJu's

Bad/Good JuJu

JuJu Know What I'm Sayin'?

2019 STANDARD RANKINGS:
Quarterback | Running backWide Receiver | Tight End | D/ST | Kicker | Top 200

Gus Station/Gus Stop/Back Up the Gus/Get on the Gus

Every Day I'm Gustlin'

Conner Air

Ex-Conners

The James Gang

All Barkley, No Bite/My Barkley is Louder Than My Bite

Watch What You Saquon

Chubb Pack

We Be Chubbin'

Chubby Chasers

Chubb's Boner Patrol (Adding "Patrol" at the end of almost anything crude is a good DIY tip for fantasy team names)

Nick of Time

Nick Heads

All You Can Ito

Ito, Drink, and Be Merry

You Are What You Ito

Jimmy G-String Divas

Nuthin' But a Jimmy G Thang

2019 PPR RANKINGS:
Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | Top 200

Finding Deebo

Coleman Coolers

Old Chunk of Coleman

Seventh Tevin/Tevin Can Wait/I've Died and Gone to Tevin/Stairway to Tevin

Seventh Evans/Evans Can Wait/I've Died and Gone to Evans/Stairway to Evans

Murray Convention

Cobra Kyler

Kerryon My Wayward Son

Thielen Like Makin' Love

I Gotta Thielen/Hooked on a Thielen/More than a Thielen/Can't Stop the Thielen

Night Courtland

King of the Courtland/Royal Courtland

Corn Cobb Pipe and a Sutton Nose and Two Eyes Made Out of Cole (Randall Cobb, Courtland Sutton, Cole Beasley are needed for this, but, again....totally worth it.)

Sutton's Going On

2 Gurleys, 1 Kupp

Gone Gurley

Gurleys Just Want to Have Fun

The Gurley Gates

FANTASY SLEEPERS: 
8 QBs | 14 RBs | 11 WRs | 11 TEs | 6 D/STs | One from each team

Throw Some Dedes on That B****

Go Westbrook, Young Man

Once Bitten, Guice Shy (very fitting after last year)

Miami Guice/Guice Principals

Roll of the Guice/Loaded Guice

Three Blind Guice/Of Guice and Men

Minute Guice/Guice Cooker/Shrimp Fried Guice

Wouldn’t it be Guice?

The Guice is Right

The Guice Man Cometh

Slice and Guice

Truth or Derrius/Double Derrius

FANTASY CONSISTENCY RATINGS:
Quarterback | Running backWide receiver | Tight end

Le'Veon on a Prayer

Highway to Bell

Saved by Le'Bell

Touchdown Breesus

Pimpin’ Ain’t Breesy/Breesy Does It

Bad and BouBrees

Brees the Sheriff

Zeke Squad

Ezekiel 25:17

Last Night I Took an El(liott)

99 Problems But a Fitz Ain’t One

Get Fitz or Die Tryin'

Mahomes Boys

Mahomes Is Where the Heart Is

Mahomes Cookin'

Home Sweet Mahomes

DRAFT STRATEGY AND RANKINGS TIERS: 
Quarterback | Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | D/ST

Lights, Kamara, Action

Kamara Shy/Instant Kamara

The Kamara Adds 10 Pounds/The Kamara Loves You

Dakstreet's Back

Baby Got Dak

Dak and Yellow

Prescott Your Luck

Press Your Luck

Hyde and Go Luck Yourself

Kings of the Hill

Hill Toppers

Hyde and Tyreek

Get Your Tyreek On

SEASON PREVIEW PODCASTS:
Quarterback | Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | D/ST

Fuller House

Fuller Up!

You're Fuller of S***

Will Powered

Wilson Phillips (Just get Russell Wilson, Philip Rivers, and Phillip Lindsay...it's not hard)

A Rivers Runs Through It

MORE: Dollar values | IDP rankings | Best ball tips

On the Marquez/Missed the Marquez

Scantling Clad

C'mon Ride the Tre'Quan

Wrong Hill to Dion

Kittle One

Pot Calling the Kittle Black

Born to Mack/Return of the Mack

Hey Everyone, We're All Gonna Get Treyed!

Trey Bien!

Giorgio Amari

Amari Teenage Riot

Amari 2600

That's Amari!

Palace Cooper

Storm Coopers

DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2019 Fantasy Cheat Sheet

Kelce Lately

Fournettecation

Nothing But Fournette

I Would Walk 500 Miles

100 Miles and Runnin'

Eight Miles

Just Say Wentz

Mercedes Wentz

Wentz Upon a Time

From Wentz We Came

North by North Wentz

Darwinism

O-Dell No!

Dude, You're Getting O-Dell!

Jamaal About That Bass

Do's and Donta's

Jury Foreman

2019 STANDARD RANKINGS:
Quarterback | Running backWide Receiver | Tight End | D/ST | Kicker | Top 200

Notre Damien

Harris Wheels

Go Ahead, Make My DaeSean/Night and DaeSean/Hard DaeSean's Night

Zay What?/Zay It Ain't So

Beautiful Zay

Say It Ain't Sony

Sony Side Up

MegaErtz

Death Ertz-tificate

Green New Deal

Ain’t No Such Thing as Halfway Cooks

Too Many Cooks

Steady Cams

Serial Miller

Miller’s Bossin’

Lamar the Merrier!

Lamar You Serious?

View From Lamar

2019 PPR RANKINGS:
Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | Top 200

Funchess Bunch

Diggs in a Blanket

Can You Diggs It?

Woods You Rather?

Cabin in the Woods

Njokumbaya

You're Njoking/What an Njoku

And Justice for All

Wheels of Justice

Get Ridley Of 'Em

Two and a Half Freemen (Draft Royce and Devonta for your "Freemen", then grab Deshaun Watson for your half a man. Or don't because who really cares?)

Land of the Freeman

Ginn and Juice (Bonus points if you get O.J. Howard for the "Juice" part)

Ginn and Bear It (Bonus points if you draft the Bears D/ST)

Melvin and the Chipmunks

FANTASY SLEEPERS: 
8 QBs | 14 RBs | 11 WRs | 11 TEs | 6 D/STs | One from each team

Ad Hockenson (This will be a better headline for a waiver wire article in Week 6 after Hockenson scores his first TD, but whatever.)

Hockenson a Loogie

Golladay Inn Express

Here’s My Number, So Call Me Brady

Reeding Rainbow

Dwayne's World

Golden Grahams

Do it for the 'Graham

InstaGraham

Hines 57

Got Nyheeeeeeeeeeeim!

I Do What I Kenyan/Yes We Kenyan!

Grand Kenyan

Drake It Til You Make It (or Fake it Til You Drake It)

Life is What You Drake It

Easy Drake Oven

DRAFT STRATEGY AND RANKINGS TIERS: 
Quarterback | Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | D/ST

Gallup Poll

Dr. Julio

Game of Jones

Dante's Peak

Dante's Inferno

Pettis Wrap

Thomas's Tank Engines

Rudolph the Red-Zone Reindeer

The Mixon Administration

Catalina Wine Mixon

Mixon Match

Mixon It Up

Golden McCaffrey

Fanatical Christians/Christian Missionaries

Amendola Dola Bill, Y'all

SEASON PREVIEW PODCASTS:
Quarterback | Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | D/ST

All About the Benjamins

Sanu Jack City

T.Y. Dolla $ign

T.Y. Very Much

Foles in One

Trubisky Patrol

Too Good to be Trubisky

Get Mitch or Die Tryin'

Life's a Mitch/Son of a Mitch/Mitch Please (and so on)

Wings of a Davante/Devontae/Devonta

Jacobs Ladder

License to N'Keal

If Looks Could N'Keal

Rex-N-Effect

Burkhead of the Class

Rex Appeal

Washington Monument

Washington Machine

FANTASY CONSISTENCY RATINGS:
Quarterback | Running backWide receiver | Tight end

Song of Matty Ice and Fire

Saving Matt Ryan

Roethlisberger Helper

Golden Rush/Good as Golden/Golden Idols

Tate is Enough

Tate Misbehavin'

MegaWatts (or MegaWatson)

Turn Down for Watt

Turn Down for Watkins

Kissing Cousins

Captain Kirks

MORE: Dollar values | IDP rankings | Best ball tips

Pop-Lockett-Drop It

Pocket Lockett

Hot Lockett

Stone Cold Lockett

Austin City Limits

What the Ekeler?

Don't 'Nuk It Til Your Try It/'Nuk Three Times/'Nuk 'Nuk Joke

Going 'Nuklear/'Nuklear Option/'Nuklear Blast

Avoid the Boyd

Yeaaaaaaaaah Booooooooooooyd!

Boyd Rage

Tyler, the Creator

Eastbound and Brown

O' Come, O' Come Emmanuel

Head in the Sanders

Sanders Castles

DeVante’s Inferno

Let's Get Riddickulous!

Chronicles of Riddick

Good(win) Will Hunting (Bonus if you get Marquise Goodwin, Will Fuller and Kareem Hunt. You have to force these things sometimes.)

Thick of the Hunt/In the Hunt/Hunting Buddies

I've Doyled Myself

Doyle Rules!

Doyled Alive/Doyling Point/Bring to a Doyle

There is a Godwin!

All I Do Is Godwin

Gimme Moore

Hey Darnold!

Ingram Toenails

All Things Being Equinameous

All That I Snead/All You Snead is Love

Parker/Lewis Can’t Lose (I know you don't want to draft DeVante Parker and Dion Lewis, but let's face it -- you were probably gonna screw up those picks anyway.)

Howard's End

At Witten's End

Secret of the Uzomah

Alshon of the Dead/Deshaun of the Dead/DeSean of the Dead/LeSean of the Dead

Hurns Notice/Feel the Hurns

Al Hurns and Gurley (Yes, Allen Hurns is irrelevant, but these are just too good to delete)

We’re Allen this Together

Here's to You, Mr. Robinson

Dirty Landry

Gym, Tan, Landry

Landry Service

Arcega-Whiteside Up

Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood

Aaron on the Side of Caution

To Aaron is Human

Dude, Where’s My Carr?

Wherefore art thou, Antonio?

Lower Your Royce/Keep Your Royce Down

Rolls Royces

The Backfields and McCoys

Get Inman Where Ya Fit In

Mariota Kart

Mariota Had a Little Lamb

Humphries Dumpty

Penny Candy

The Penny is Mightier

Penny For your Thoughts

Runnin' Rashaad Over You (These were better last year when we thought he was gonna be good)

Trained Seals-Jones

Bilal We've Got

That's Bilal, Folks!

Boom Boom Powell

Blow a Gaskin

Gaskin Robbins

What a Coutee!

Skeleton Kekes/Kekes to My Heart

Let's Get Keke

Even N'Keal

Midnight in Parris/We'll Always Have Parris

Hogan's Heroes

Dalton’s Abbey

I’ll Make You Jameis

All I Do is Winston/For the Winston

Sterling Record/Sterling Silver

Your Brate Is Sealed

Staff Infection

Goff Button/Turn Your Head and Goff

Goff and Wet and/or Soft and Wentz

Turn Goff the Lights

G'off My Lawn

Rebel Yeldons

You Make Me Want To Duke

Let Sleeping Dogs Eli

Don't Eli To My Face

Crowder Control/Capacity Crowder/Sold Out Crowder

Clam Crowder

Gospel According to Luuuuuuuuuuke

Guns and Rosens

A Rosen By Any Other Name...

Rosen in the Sun/California Rosens

Gore Values

Full Nelsons

Ladies and Edelman

Peachy Keenan

Giovani Vidi Vici

El Gordo Y La Flacco

Rage Against the Vereen (Hey, he could still turn up somewhere.)

Johnson and More Johnson (David and Kerryon will help you accomplish this one)

'Reek Havoc (or Havoc 'Reekers)

'Rik Havoc (or Havoc 'Rikers)

DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2019 Fantasy Cheat Sheet

Gould Members

The Hauschka Always Wins

All's Fairbairn in Love and War

Butker? Butker? Anyone? Butker?

Yippee Ki Yay Justin Tucker

You Know You Gano Lose

It’s Von Like Donkey Kong

Suh-and-a-Half Men

Suh-Tang Clan (Ain't Nuthing Ta F Wit) 

Vinnie Iyer, Jordan Heck, Tony Fortier-Bensen, Jacob Camenker, Billy Heyen and Ellis Williams all contributed to this article.

Matt Lutovsky

Matt Lutovsky Photo

Matt Lutovsky has been a writer and editor for The Sporting News since 2007, primarily writing about fantasy sports, betting, and gaming.