Winning your fantasy football league isn't easy. In fact, you'll probably lose...badly. Here's the good news: You can still ultimately be a winner with a funny team name, and that's way easier than actually making the right roster decisions and avoiding injuries all season. Let the other idiots in your league pour over rankings, hunt for sleepers, and pass out on top of their cheat sheets. All you need to find the best fantasy football team name in 2023 is this article right here.
MORE: Get NFL RedZone with Sling (50% off first month)
OK, that's not really true either. Out of the hundreds of puns based on players' names we have below, only around five percent are actually decent. We've been doing this for years, so some are really old, and the source material has long escaped our memories. Rest assured, they were probably clever during the Obama Administration or something.
Hopefully, though, our lame suggestions will inspire you to think of something better. After all, the best fantasy football team names are often that special type of crude or offensive that we're not allowed to print on a family website. Inside jokes with your leaguemates are also popular, and we can't really help you in that department.
DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2023 Fantasy Cheat Sheet
If you're lazy and just want a good team name served up to you, don't worry, we probably have something that can help, regardless of who's on your team. Some are easy, like "Teenage Mutant Njigba Turtles;" others are a little more esoteric, like "Purdddy....Purdddy...Purdy Good." (Shout out Larry David.) A few are classics, like "Call of Jeudy," "Tua Infinity & Bijan," and "Chubby Chasers," and some are even futuristic, like "Dippin' Dotson."
2023 PPR RANKINGS:
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Ks | Top 200 | S-Flex | IDP
A pair of younger Vikings help us out with cross-sport lay-ups "Ty Goes To The Runner," and "Jordan Brand." We can get political ("Build The Waller"), religious ("Doubting Thomas"), sacrilegious ("Golden Metcalf"), and historic ("Alexander The Great"). We reference old movies ("Fields of Dreams"), new movies ("Goffenheimer"), TV ("Purdy Little Liars"), rap ("Gettin' Chiggy Wit It"), rock ("Stairway to Evans"), pop ("Dakstreet Boys"), comics ("Batman & Dobbins"), and even YouTube channels ("First, We Breece"). We also have some that are just plain stupid ("Lookin' At The Man In Jahmyr").
2023 STANDARD RANKINGS:
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Ks | Top 200 | S-Flex | IDP
And even though we can't get too risque, our more immature readers might be able to get some mileage out of "99 Problems But a Pitts Ain't One," "Master Bateman," "Tee Baggers," "Big Dak Energy," and "Rock Out With Your Brock Out." Wow, big day for Brock Purdy, huh?
2023 FANTASY SLEEPERS
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Each Team
So, there you go -- something for everyone. If you don't understand any of those references, head to your local library and find some literature on them. If you found even one you like, then you're welcome. You're already miles ahead of the rest of your league even if you drafted Tom Brady in the first round. Anyone can win a championship, but making someone slightly chuckle/smirk/groan in disgust when they see your team name -- now that's a real victory.
DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2023 Fantasy Cheat Sheet
Best fantasy football team names 2023
WEEK 1 PPR RANKINGS:
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Kickers
Running backs
Bijan Robinson
Here's to You, Bijan Robinson
Tua Infinity and Bijan
Bijan Dusted
Let Bijans be Bijans
Austin Ekeler
Ek’s Gon’ Give it to Ya’
Austin Powers
Austin 3:16
Professor Ek
Jahmyr Gibbs
Gibbs Xtra
Looking at the Man in Jahmyr
AJ Dillon
Dillon ‘Em Softly
Breece Hall
First, We Breece
Feed the Breece
Better Call Hall
Breece's Pieces
Breece Mode
Hall Til We Fall
Hall So Hard
Came in Like a Wrecking Hall
Keep it Breecey
2023 POSITION TIERS & DRAFT STRATEGY:
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/ST
Nick Chubb
Chubby Chasers
Hot Chubb Time Machine
We Be Chubbin’
Chubbthumping
De'Von Achane
Achane Running
Achane Has Left the Station
All Aboard the Achane
Rachaad White
White Lotus
White Men Can't Jump
JK Dobbins
Baskin Dobbins
Rockin’ Dobbins
Batman And Dobbins (or Bateman & Dobbins if you get Rashod Bateman)
Dobbins And Stealin’
Leonard Fournette
Fournettecation
Fournette Flix and Chill
Ezekiel Elliott
Zeke Squad
The Zeke Shall Inherit The Earth
Hide And Go Zeke/Zeke And You Shall Find
Get Your Zeke On
Last Night I Took An El(liott)
2023 AUCTION VALUES (Standard & PPR):
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Ks | Overall
Saquon Barkley
Quon Squad (Any Succession fans out there?)
Another ‘Quon Bites The Dust
Saquonda Forever
Watch What You Saquon
All Barkley, No Bite/My Barkley Is Louder Than My Bite
Tank Bigsby
The Notorious Bigsby
The Great Bigsby
Tank You, Come Again
Brian Robinson Jr.
Here's To You, Brian Robinson
Cordarrelle Patterson
Cut the Cordarrelle
Alvin Kamara
Instant Kamara
Kamara Shy
Lights, Kamara, Action
The Kamara Loves You
FANTASY DRAFT STRATEGY:
Snake | Auction | Best ball | Dynasty | IDP
Jamaal Williams
Better Call Jamaal
Jamaal About the Benjamins
Jamaal About the Bass
Christian McCaffrey
Run CMC
Mister Christian, Oh, The Time Has Come
Christian Missionaries
Onward, Christian Soldier
Khalil Herbert
Born To Khalil/If Looks Could Khalil
Puffin' Herbert
Isiah Pacheco
Isiah on The Prize
Travis Etienne
All You Can Etienne
You Are What You Etienne
Joe Mixon
Catalina Wine Mixon
Prestige Worldwide — Live at the Wine Mixon
Mixon It Up
Mixon Business with Pleasure
Mixon Match
2023 STANDARD RANKINGS:
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Ks | Top 200 | S-Flex | IDP
Cam Akers
Green Akers
InstaCam
Lights, Cam, Action
Miles Sanders
I Would Walk 500 Miles
I Can See for Miles and Miles
Head In The Sanders
Quick Sanders
Alexander Mattison
Alexander The Great
Ty Chandler
Ty Goes To The Runner
Jonathan Taylor
Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy
Taylor to the Moon
Taylor Made
Dameon Pierce
Notre Dameon
Body Piercings
Rhamondre Stevenson
Forgot About Rhamondre/Rhamondre Day
Friendly Rhamondre/Night To Rhamondre
Even Stevenson
2023 PPR RANKINGS:
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Ks | Top 200 | S-Flex | IDP
Najee Harris
Harris Wheels
Naj Mahal
Naj’s Illmatic
Naj-Bombs
Najee Willickers
Damien Harris
Harris Wheels
Notre Damien
Josh Jacobs
Jacobs’ Ladder
Jerome Ford
Built Ford Tough
Devin Singletary
Young, Free, and Singletary
Seventh Devin/Devin Can Wait/Stairway To Devin/Devin Sent
Kenneth Walker III
What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?
DogWalker
K SkyWalker on Them Haters
Kareem Hunt
In The Hunt
Big-Game Hunt
Krispy Kareems
James Cook
Big Game James
(See below)
2023 FANTASY SLEEPERS
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Each Team
Dalvin Cook
Jesse, Let’s Cook
MasterClass Cook
Too Many Cooks
Dalvin and the Chipmunks
D’Andre Swift
Swift Kick In Your Arse
Swifty Hussle
Cuttin’ Like Swiftblades
50 Shades of ‘Dre
James Conner
Ex-Conners
Conner Air
Chase Brown
High-Speed Chase
The Chase Is On
What Can Brown Do For You?
Derrick Henry
King Henry’s Court
Oh, Henry
D-Block
Zach Charbonnet
Glass of Vintage Charbonnet
Aaron Jones
Keepin’ up with the Joneses
Mr. Jones and Me
Game of Jones
To Aaron Is Human/Aaron On The Side Of Caution
Tony Pollard
Arroz Con Pollard/El Pollard Loco
Holla at a Pollard Makin' Dollas
Pollard Status
Big Pollard Brand
Gus Edwards
Every Day I'm Gustlin'
Gus Station/Back Up The Gus/Gus Stop/Get On The Gus
Rashaad Penny
The Penny Is Mightier
Runnin' Rashaad Over You
Penny For Your Thoughts/Penny Candy
Raheem Mostert
Mostert Likely To Succeed
Host With The Mostert
2023 AUCTION VALUES (Standard & PPR):
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Ks | Overall
Quarterbacks
Kyler Murray
Kyler, the Creator
Cobra Kyler
Murray-Up Offense
Dak Prescott
Hit Me With Your Prescott
Dak to the Future
Baby Got Dak
Big Dak Energy
Dak and Yellow
Dak in the Saddle Again
Prescott Your Luck/Full-Court Prescott
C.J. Stroud
Stroudy with a Chance of Deep Balls
Strouded Judgment
Stroud and Heavy
Patrick Mahomes
Country Road, Take Mahomes
Mahomes Don’t Play That
Rollin’ with Mahomes
Home Sweet Mahomes/Stay At Mahomes/Mahomes Is Where The Heart Is/Mahomes Cookin'/Mahomes Field Advantage
Tua Tagovailoa
It Takes Tua to Make a Thing Go Right
It Takes Tua to Tango
Laser Tagovailoa/Freeze Tagovailoa
Tua Infinity and Bijan
Joe Burrow
Beg, Burrow, And Steal
Burrowito Bowl
Joe Burrow, Tiger King
Deshaun Watson
MegaWatson
Turn Down For Watson
Deshaun of the Dead
2023 POSITION TIERS & DRAFT STRATEGY:
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/ST
Kenny Pickett
Pickett Lines
Kenny Pickett and Flick it
Oh No! They Drilled Kenny!
Aaron Rodgers
Aaron it Out
To Aaron Is Human/Aaron On The Side Of Caution
Mr. Rodgers’ Neighborhood
Mac Jones
Daddy Mac Will Make You Jump!
Return of the Mac
Big Mac
Maccine Mandate/Anti-Macser
Bryce Young
The Bryce is Right
The Bryce-man Cometh
Bryce, Bryce Baby
Young Gunna
Young the Giant
Matthew Stafford
Stafford Infections
Inglourious Staffords
Lamar Jackson
Lamar’s Attacks
Lamar You Not Entertained!?
Lamar The Merrier
Jackson Drive
I’m Sorry, L-Jackson
Lights, Camera, Jackson!
Jalen Hurts
Hurts So Good/Love Hurts/The Hurts Locker
Jalen Thee Stallion
Jimmy Garoppolo
Jimmy G-Unit
Nothin’ But a Jimmy G Thang
Garoppolypse Now
El Garoppolo Loco
Los Garoppolos Hermanos
FANTASY DRAFT STRATEGY:
Snake | Auction | Best ball | Dynasty | IDP
Josh Allen
We're Allen In This Together
Trevor Lawrence
Lawrence of Arabia
T-Law & Order
Justin Herbert
Puffin' Herbert
Justin Credible
Anthony Richardson
Ant Man
Kirk Cousins
Kissing Cousins
Captain Kirks
Derek Carr
Carroz Con Pollo
Dude, Where’s My Carr?
Geno Smith
Geno Therapy
Skinny Genos
Jared Goff
Goffenheimer
Turn Goff The Lights
Turn Your Head And Goff
G'off My Lawn
Justin Fields
Fields Of Dreams/Fields Day
Strawberry Fields Forever
Brock Purdy
Rock Out With Your Brock Out
Brock N Roll
Purdy Little Liars
Purdddy....Purdddy....Purdy Good
DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2023 Fantasy Cheat Sheet
Wide Receivers
Davante Adams
D. Adams Family
Davante’s Inferno
Adams Bomb
Up And Adams
Jaxon Smith-Njigba
Teenage Mutant Njigba Turtles
Jameson Williams
Jameson Pickleback Shots
Drake London
Easy Drake Oven
Drake It ’Til You Make It
Werewolves of London
London Calling
Garrett Wilson
Garretteed Satisfaction
Garrett Wilson’s WAR
Jordan Addison
Jordan Brand
Addison Avenue
Chris Olave
Olave Garden
Olave Oil
2023 PPR RANKINGS:
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Ks | Top 200 | S-Flex | IDP
Skyy Moore
Skyy's the Limit
The Rise of Skyywalker
Skyy High
Skyyfall
Would You Like Some Moore?
Toast You Like S’Moore
The Moore The Merrier
D.J. Moore/Elijah Moore/Rondale Moore
(See above)
Brandin Cooks
Cooks in the Kitchen
Ain’t No Such Thing as Halfway Cooks
Short Order Cooks
Too Many Cooks
Cooper Kupp
Kupp Runneth Over
Fill My Kupp
Red Solo Kupp
2 Girls, One Kupp
Hangin' with Mr. Cooper
Cooper Troopers
King Cooper
Amari Cooper
Have Yourself Amari Little Christmas
Amari Express
Amari Teenage Riot
Cooper Troopers
Hangin' with Mr. Cooper
King Cooper
Zay Flowers
April Showers Bring Zay Flowers
Give the Man His Flowers
Justin Jefferson
Justin Credible
JJ Jazzy Jeff
Tyreek Hill
Hill Toppers/Kings Of The Hill
Hill Street Blues
‘Reek Havoc/Havoc ‘Reekers
DK Metcalf
Golden Metcalf
Ja’Marr Chase
High-Speed Chase
The Chase Is On
Ja'Marr The Merrier
2023 STANDARD RANKINGS:
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Ks | Top 200 | S-Flex | IDP
DeAndre Hopkins
Beats By DeAndre
Forgot About ‘Dre
Nuk Suit Riot
Nuk Blue Devils
Adam Thielen
More Than a Thielen
Hooked on a Thielen
Thielen Like a Million Bucks
I Got a Thielen, a Thielen Deep Inside
DJ Chark
Chark Week
Baby Chark, Do Do Do Do Do Do
Chark Season
Charknado
CeeDee Lamb
Phi Lamb-a Jamma
Silence of the Lambs
Lamb Dunk
CeeDee Burner
CeeDee's TDs
Easy as A-B-CeeDee
Deebo Samuel
Deathblow Deebo
Deebo Knows Football
Deebowlin’ Over You
Finding Deebo
Son of Samuel
Michael Pittman Jr.
Bottomless Pittman
JuJu Smith-Schuster
Bad JuJu
Honey JuJu
Got My JuJu Back
Stefon Diggs
Can You Diggs It?
I Love It When You Call Me Diggs Poppa
Kadarius Toney
Toney Award Winner
2023 FANTASY SLEEPERS
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Each Team
Keenan Allen
Peachy Keenan
Robert Woods
Cabin In The Woods
Woods You Rather?/What Woods You Do?
Jahan Dotson
Connect The Dotson
On The Dotson
Dippin' Dotson
Tyler Lockett
Pop, Lockett, Drop It
Lockett Like It’s Hot
Win? Lockett In
Hot Lockett
George Pickens
Pickens & Grinnin'
Slim Pickens
Jaylen Waddle
Jaylen Thee Stallion
Blow Your Waddle
Tee Higgins
Tee It Up
Spill The Tee
The Tee-Baggers
Calvin Ridley
Get Ridley Of 'Em
2023 AUCTION VALUES (Standard & PPR):
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/STs | Ks | Overall
A.J. Brown/Marquise Brown/Amon-Ra St. Brown
Takin’ the Browns to the Toilet Bowl
What Can Brown Do For You?
How Now, Brown Cow
Odell Beckham Jr.
Odellta Variant
O-dell No!
Brandon Aiyuk
An Eye For An Aiyuk
Diontae Johnson
A Hill To Diontae
Courtland Sutton
Always Up To Sutton
Cute As A Sutton
Sutton Ranch (Hi, Yellowstone fans)
King Of The Courtland/Royal Courtland/Night Courtland
Chris Godwin
There Is A Godwin!
All I Do Is Godwin
Mike Evans
Stairway To Evans/Seventh Evans/Evans Can Wait
Michael Thomas
Doubting Thomas
Tyler Boyd
Avoid The Boyd
Yeaaaaaaaaah Booooooooooooyd!
Boyd Rage
2023 POSITION TIERS & DRAFT STRATEGY:
QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | D/ST
Treylon Burks
Treylon in the 4th Quarter
Rashod Bateman
Master Bateman
Runnin' Rashod Over You
Bateman Begins/Bateman & Robin
Michael Gallup
Gallup Poll
Jerry Jeudy
Jeudy and the Blowfish
Ms. New Jeudy/Jeudy Call
Call Of Jeudy
Judge Jeudy
Jeudy Jeudy Jeudy Jeudy Jeudy Jeudy (shoutout, Beatles fans)
Allen Lazard
Lazard Focus/Lazard Pointer/Lazard Beam
Lazard King
Christian Kirk
Captain Kirks
Christian Missionaries
Onward, Christian Soldiers
Christian Watson
MegaWatson
Turn Don 4 Watson
Onward Christian Soldier
Christian Missionaries
FANTASY DRAFT STRATEGY:
Snake | Auction | Best ball | Dynasty | IDP
Tight ends
George Kittle
Say Hello to my Kittle Friend
Dream Big, Kittle Man
Kittles and Bits
Kittles: Taste the Rainbow
Kittle Big Man
Kittle Giants
Zach Ertz
Love Ertz
Ertz So Good
MegaErtz
Ertz, Wind & Fire
Death Ertztificate
Travis Kelce
Kelce Lately
Dallas Goedert
Praise Goedert/There Is a Goedert
Chigoziem Okonkwo
Gettin' Chiggy With It
Evan Engram
Stairway To Evan
DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2023 Fantasy Cheat Sheet
Greg Dulcich
Dulcich De Leche
Irv Smith Jr.
Get Your Irv On
You've Got Some Irv!
Irvous Wreck
Dawson Knox
Knox Three Times
Dawson's Creek
Fort Knox
Don't Knox It 'Til You Try It
T.J. Hockenson
Ad Hockenson Committee
Hockenson A Loogie
Kyle Pitts
Pitts And Giggles
99 Problems But a Pitts Ain't One
Taysom Hill
Hill To Die On/Hill Toppers/King Of The Hill
Darren Waller
Family Waller/Waller General/Waller Store/Another Day, Another Waller/A Day Later And A Waller Short
Build The Waller!
Waller ID
Mark Andrews
On The Mark
Expert Marksman
Pat Freiermuth
Freier's Club
Deep Freier
Loud 'Muths/Shut Your 'Muth/etc.
Kickers
Justin Tucker
Yippee Ki-Yay, Justin Tucker
"I'm the one who kicks" (Breaking Bad homage)
Bad MotherTucker
Nick Musial, Vinnie Iyer, Jordan Heck, and Jacob Camenker all contributed to this article.
