Some will tell you that studying rankings and auction values is the most important part of your preseason fantasy preparation; others will say it's coming up with a sleeper list or draft cheat sheet. Do those things matter? Sure, I guess...I don't know. Who cares? We all know what really matters -- what can make or break your season and determine if it's successful before the first down of football is played in 2020 -- is whether you come up with a funny or creative fantasy football team name. Better yet -- coming up with the best fantasy team name.
We already know this season is going to be crazy, which is saying something since fantasy football seasons are always crazy. You still have to worry about first-round picks tearing their ACLs and other starters being taken out near the goal, but now you also have to worry about a dude going on the COVID-19 reserve list the morning of a game. There's nothing you can do about any of that, so focus on the one thing you can control: Your team name.
DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2020 cheat sheet
Not all of our player-name puns are winners. For every "Chark Week" there's a "Cute As a Sutton." (Can you tell which is supposed to be the good one?) We have some lengthy ones, like "I Live in a Van Down By the River" and some quick-hitters, like "Boyd Rage." There are pandemic-related suggestions, like "Drew Lockdown," "Stay in Mahomes," and "We're Allen in This Together," as well as politically inspired ones, like "Gallup Poll," "Ad Hockenson Committee," "Cooper d'etat," and "The Mixon Administration." Don't worry, though -- we have something for the Left ("Green New Deal") and the Right ("Build The Waller!"). We're inclusive like that.
2020 STANDARD FANTASY RANKINGS:
Quarterback | Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | D/ST | Kicker | Superflex | Top 200
Of course, we also have some classics, like "Lamar the Merrier," "Last Night I Took an El(liott)," "Another 'Quon Bites the Dust," "Finding Deebo," and "Chubby Chasers," as well as new favorites, such as "Batman and Dobbins," "Call of Jeudy," "Jalen Thee Stallion", "Burrowito Bowl," and "Fresh Prince of Helaire."
2020 PPR RANKINGS:
Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | Superflex | Top 200
We'll fully admit we're volume shooters with our list of potential team names. We've been compiling these for years, so some aren't exactly on the cutting edge of modern pop culture (if they ever were). But all it takes is one good one to win over the people your league -- or even just one bad one to inspire you to think of something better. After all, the best team names tend to be inside jokes or possibly offensive material that we can't put here, so you're on your own for those. Just, you know, be careful you don't get canceled or anything because people aren't screwing around in 2020.
2020 FANTASY SLEEPERS:
6 QBs | 16 RBs | 14 WRs | 10 TEs | 5 D/STs | One from each team
You might not get all -- or most -- of the references below, so either ignore those or go to your local library to research them. Either way, you're in the right place if you're looking to start your season off right!
DRAFT STRATEGY AND RANKINGS TIERS:
Quarterback | Running Back | Wide Receiver | Tight End | D/ST
Best fantasy football team names for 2020
Clyde Edwards-Helaire
Fresh Prince Of Helaire
That’s Helairious
Clyde And Go Seek
Courtland Sutton
Night Courtland
King Of The Courtland/Royal Courtland
Always Up To Sutton
Cute As A Sutton
Corn Cobb Pipe And A Sutton Nose And Two Eyes Made Out Of Cole (You’ll need Randall Cobb, Courtland Sutton, Cole Beasley for this one, but definitely worth it)
Nick Chubb
Chubb Pack
Chubby Chasers
We Be Chubbin'
Nick Of Time
Nick Heads
Amari Cooper
Giorgio Amari
Amari 2600
Amari Teenage Riot
Have Yourself Amari Little Christmas
That's Amari!
Palace Cooper/Cooper d’etat
WEEK 1 STANDARD RANKINGS:
Quarterback | Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | D/ST | Kicker
Zach Ertz
MegaErtz
Death Ertz-tificate
A.J. Green
Green New Deal
Joe Mixon
Catalina Wine Mixon
Mixon It Up
The Mixon Administration
Mixon Match
Christian McCaffrey
Golden McCaffrey
Onward Christian Solder
Fanatical Christians/Christian Missionaries
Christian Kirk
(see above)
(see below)
WEEK 1 PPR RANKINGS:
Quarterback | Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | D/ST | Kicker
Kirk Cousins
Captain Kirks
Kissing Cousins
Lamar Jackson
Lamar The Merrier
View From Lamar
Joe Burrow
JOEVID-19
Beg, Burrow, And Steal
Burrowito Bowl (or any variation of “Burrito” you enjoy)
Alvin Kamara
KamaraVirus
Lights, Kamara, Action
Kamara Shy/Instant Kamara
The Kamara Adds 10 Pounds/The Kamara Loves You
Alvin And The Chipmunks
Dak Prescott
Dakstreet's Back
Baby Got Dak
Dak And Yellow
Prescott Your Luck
Full-Court Prescott
Tyreek Hill
Kings Of The Hill
Hill Toppers
Hyde And Tyreek
Get Your Tyreek On
Hill Street Blues
‘Reek Havoc/Havoc ‘Reekers
2020 PPR RANKINGS:
Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | Superflex | Top 200
Baker Mayfield
Baker Of Chains
Mayfield Of Dreams
Baker Mayfields Forever
Shake-N-Bakers
Baking Bad
JuJu Smith-Schuster
King Of The JuJu's
Bad/Good JuJu
JuJu Know What I'm Sayin'?
JK Dobbins
Haha JK LOL
Batman And Dobbins
Rockin’ Dobbins
Dobbins And Stealin’
Dobbins Is A Free Elf
James Conner
Conner Air
Ex-Conners
The James Gang
DJ Chark
Baby Chark/Chark Attack/Chark Week
Kyler Murray
Murray Convention
Murray-Up Offense
Cobra Kyler
George Kittle
Kittle One
Pot Calling The Kittle Black
Le’Veon Bell
Le'Veon On A Prayer
Highway To Bell
Saved By Le'Bell
DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2020 cheat sheet
Drew Brees
Touchdown Breesus
Pimpin’ Ain’t Breesy/Breesy Does It
Life’s A Brees
Bad And BouBrees
Brees The Sheriff
Ezekiel Elliott
Last Night I Took An El(liott)
Hide And Go Zeke/Zeke And You Shall Find
Zeke Squad
Ezekiel 25:17
The Zeke Shall Inherit The Earth
Larry Fitzgerald
99 Problems But A Fitz Ain’t One
Get Fitz Or Die Tryin'
Marquise Brown
Hooray For Hollywood
Hollywood Squares
2020 STANDARD FANTASY RANKINGS:
Quarterback | Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | D/ST | Kicker | Superflex | Top 200
Adam Thielen
I Gotta Thielen/Hooked On A Thielen/More Than A Thielen/Can't Stop The Thielen
Thielen Like Makin' Love
Adam Bomb
Up And Adam
AJ Dillon
Killin' With Dillon
Todd Gurley
2 Gurleys, 1 Kupp
Gone Gurley
Gurleys Just Want To Have Fun
Brown Eyed Gurley
The Gurley Gates
Cooper Kupp
(see top one above)
Red Solo Kupp
Palace Cooper/Cooper d’etat
Saquon Barkley
Saquaratine Barkley
Another ‘Quon Bites The Dust
All Barkley, No Bite/My Barkley Is Louder Than My Bite
Watch What You Saquon
Van Jefferson
I Live In A Van Down By The River
CeeDee Lamb
Lamb Skewers/Lamb Chops/etc.
Portable CeeDee Player
CeeDee Burner
High-Yield CeeDee
2020 FANTASY SLEEPERS:
6 QBs | 16 RBs | 14 WRs | 10 TEs | 5 D/STs | One from each team
Carson Wentz
Wentz Upon A Time
Just Say Wentz
Mercedes Wentz
From Wentz We Came
Go Wentz, Young Man
North By North Wentz
Darwin Thompson
Darwinism
All I Do Is Darwin
Blake Jarwin
(see above)
2020 PPR RANKINGS:
Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | Superflex | Top 200
Noah Fant
Fantom Of The Opera/Fantom Menace
Fant Man
What Do You Noah ‘Bout It?
Darren Waller
Build The Waller!/Against The Waller/etc.
Stefon Diggs
Diggs In A Blanket
Can You Diggs It?
DK Metcalf
Golden Metcalf
Robert Woods
Woods You Rather?
Cabin In The Woods
Hayden Hurst
Hurst Things Hurst
It Was The Best Of Times, It Was The Hurst Of Times (etc.)
Calvin Ridley
Get Ridley Of 'Em
T.J. Hockenson
Ad Hockenson Committee
Hockenson A Loogie
Kenny Golladay
Golladay Inn Express
Jimmy Garoppolo
Nuthin' But A Jimmy G Thang
Jimmy G-String Divas
Deebo Samuel
Finding Deebo
Son Of Samuel
Mecole Hardman
Don’t You Forget About Mecole
Mecole, Myself And I
Get Hardman
Henry Ruggs III
Bearskin Ruggs/Area Ruggs/etc.
Raheem Mostert
Host With The Mostert
Mostert Likely To Succeed
MORE FANTASY FOOTBALL:
Auction values | IDP Rankings | Projections | Mock draft simulator
Tevin Coleman
Coleman Coolers
Old Chunk Of Coleman
Seventh Tevin/Tevin Can Wait/I've Died And Gone To Tevin/Stairway To Tevin
Mike Evans
(see above and replace “Tevin” with “Evans”)
Devin Singletary
(see above and replace “Tevin” with “Devin”)
Young, Free, and Singletary
Kenyan Drake
Easy Drake Oven
Life Is What You Drake It
Drake It Til You Make It (or Fake it Til You Drake It)
I Do What I Kenyan/Yes We Kenyan!
Grand Kenyan
OutDrake
Michael Gallup
Gallup Poll
Julio Jones
Dr. Julio
Game of Jones
Ben Roethlisberger
Roethlisberger Helper
Golden Tate
Tate Is Enough
Tate Misbehavin'
Golden Rush/Good As Golden/Golden Idols
2020 FANTASY SLEEPERS:
6 QBs | 16 RBs | 14 WRs | 10 TEs | 5 D/STs | One from each team
Deshaun Watson
MegaWatson
Turn Down For Watson
Deshaun Of The Dead
DeSean Jackson
(see last one above)
Alshon Jeffery
(see above)
Tyler Lockett
Stone Cold Lockett
Pop-Lockett-Drop It
Hot Lockett
Pocket Lockett
Drew Lock
(see most above)
Drew Lockdown
Allen Robinson
We’re Allen This Together
Here's To You, Mr. Robinson
Keenen Allen
(see first one above)
Peach Keenan
Josh Allen
(see first one above)
Jarvis Landry
Gym, Tan, Landry
Dirty Landry
Landry Service
Chris Godwin
There Is A Godwin!
All I Do Is Godwin
D.J. Moore
Gimme Moore
Mark Ingram
Ingram Toenails
Austin Ekeler
Austin Powers
What The Ekeler?
DeAndre Hopkins
Don't 'Nuk It Til Your Try It/'Nuk Three Times/'Nuk 'Nuk Joke
Going 'Nuklear/'Nuklear Option/'Nuklear Blast
Tyler Boyd
Yeaaaaaaaaah Booooooooooooyd!
Boyd Rage
Avoid The Boyd
Kareem Hunt
Krispy Kareems
Thick Of The Hunt/In The Hunt/Big-Game Hunting
Jared Goff
Goff Button/Turn Your Head And Goff/Cover Your Goff
Turn Goff The Lights
G'off My Lawn
Tarik Cohen
Cohen Of Silence
Odell Beckham Jr.
O-Dell No!
Dude, You're Getting O-Dell!
Patrick Mahomes
Rollin' With Mahomies
Mahomes Boys
Mahomes Is Where The Heart Is
Mahomes Cookin'
Home Sweet Mahomes/Never Leaving Mahomes/Stay At Mahomes
Will Fuller V
Fuller House
Fuller Up!
You're Fuller Of S***
Where There’s A Will, There’s A Way
Will Powered
Wilson Phillips (Just draft Russell Wilson, Philip Rivers, and Phillip Lindsay...it's not hard)
Philip Rivers
A Rivers Runs Through It
Marlon Mack
Born To Mack/Return Of The Mack
Travis Kelce
Kelce Lately
Leonard Fournette
Fournettecation
Nothing But Fournette
Miles Sanders
100 Miles And Runnin'
I Would Walk 500 Miles
Head In The Sanders/Belt Sanders/Quick Sanders/Sanders Castles
Emmanuel Sanders
(see last one above)
O' Come, O' Come Emmanuel
Derrick Henry
Oil Derricks
2020 STANDARD FANTASY RANKINGS:
Quarterback | Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | D/ST | Kicker | Superflex | Top 200
Brandin Cooks
Ain’t No Such Thing As Halfway Cooks
Too Many Cooks
Dalvin Cook
(see above)
Jared Cook
(see above)
Davante Adams
Adams Bomb
Wings Of A Davante
Davante’s Inferno
DeVante Parker
(see above)
Illegal Parker
Walk In The Parker
Josh Jacobs
Jacobs Ladder
N’Keal Harry
Even N’Keal
License To N'Keal/If Looks Could N'Keal
Jalen Reagor
Jalen Thee Stallion
T.Y. Hilton
T.Y. Dolla $ign
T.Y. Very Much
Sony Michel
My Little Sony/Sony Tails
Say It Ain't Sony
Sony Side Up
Jerry Jeudy
Judge Jeudy
Call Of Jeudy
Allen Lazard
Lazard King
Lazard Focus/Lazard Pointer/Lazard Beam
Preston Williams
Full-Court Preston
Preston Your Luck
Austin Hooper
Austin Powers
Jumping Through Hoopers
Mike Gesicki
Gesicki To My Stomach
Cam Newton
Steady Cams
Lights, Cam, Action
Cam Akers
(see above)
Green Akers
Tom Brady
Here’s My Number, So Call Me Brady
Once, Twice, Three Times A Brady
Diontae Johnson
A Hill To Diontae
Darius Slayton
Double Darius
Slayton Queen!/Slayton All Day
2020 PPR RANKINGS:
Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | Superflex | Top 200
Jonathan Taylor
Taylor Made
Ke’Shawn Vaughn
It’s Vaughn Like Donkey Kong
Lock And Ke’Shawn
Ryan Tannehill
Gym, Tannehill, Laundry
Gardner Minshew
Taming Of The Minshew
Howdy, Gardners
Duke Johnson
You Make Me Want To Duke
Johnson And More Johnson (since there's a good chance people will draft David and Duke)
Jamison Crowder
Crowder Control/Capacity Crowder/Sold Out Crowder/Three's a Crowder
Clam Crowder
Crowder Heads
2020 STANDARD FANTASY RANKINGS:
Quarterback | Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | D/ST | Kicker | Superflex | Top 200
Julian Edelman
Ladies And Edelman
Stop The Spredelman
Dede Westbrook
Throw Some Dedes On That B****
Go Westbrook, Young Man
Parris Campbell
We’ll Always Have Parris/Last Tango In Parris
Tee Higgins
Spill The Tee
Tee It Up
Aaron Rodgers
To Aaron Is Human
Aaron On The Side Of Caution
Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood
Aaron Jones
(See first two above)
Derek Carr
Dude, Where’s My Carr?
Sterling Shepard
Sterling Record/Sterling Silver
Matthew Stafford
Stafford Infection
Dwayne Haskins
Haskins For A Friend/Thanks For Haskins
Haskins Robbins
Dwayne's World
Dwyane Maskins
Mohamed Sanu
Sanu Jack City
2020 PPR RANKINGS:
Running back | Wide receiver | Tight end | Superflex | Top 200
Matt Ryan
Song Of Matty Ice And Fire
Saving Matt Ryan
Jack Doyle
I've Doyled Myself
Doyle Rules!
Doyled Alive/Doyling Point/Bring To A Doyle
Jason Witten
At Witten's End
C.J. Uzomah
Secret Of The Uzomah
Nick Foles
Foles In One
Mitchell Trubisky
Trubisky Patrol
Too Good To Be Trubisky
Get Mitch Or Die Tryin'
Life's A Mitch/Son Of A Mitch/Mitch Please (and so on)
2020 FANTASY SLEEPERS:
6 QBs | 16 RBs | 14 WRs | 10 TEs | 5 D/STs | One from each team
Ito Smith
All You Can Ito
Ito, Drink, And Be Merry
You Are What You Ito
Gus Edwards
Gus Station/Gus Stop/Back Up the Gus/Get on the Gus
Every Day I'm Gustlin'
Kerryon Johnson
Kerryon My Wayward Son
Keep Calm and Kerryon
Frank Gore
Gore-ronavirus
Zack Moss
A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss
Uno Moss, Por Favor
Dare Ogunbowale
Double Dare/Go Ahead, I Dare You
Jamaal Williams
Jamaal About That Bass
Damien Harris
Harris Wheels
Notre Damien
Rex Burkhead
Burkhead Of The Class
Rex-N-Effect
Rex Appeal
Rashaad Penny
Runnin' Rashaad Over You
Penny For Your Thoughts
Penny Candy
The Penny Is Mightier
Giovani Bernard
Giovani Vidi Vici
Robbie Gould
Gould Members/Good As Gould
Matt Prater
Livin’ On A Prater
Praters Gonna Hate
Ka’imi Fairbairn
All's Fairbairn In Love And War
Harrison Butker
Butker? Butker? Anyone? Butker?
Justin Tucker
Yippee Ki Yay Justin Tucker
Joey Slye
You Slye Dog/Slye As A Fox
Graham Gano
Golden Grahams
Do It For The 'Graham
InstaGraham
Michael Badgley
Badgley Of Honor
Vinnie Iyer, Jordan Heck, Tony Fortier-Bensen, Jacob Camenker, Billy Heyen and Ellis Williams all contributed to this article.
