Best Fantasy Basketball Team Names 2019

Matt Lutovsky

Best Fantasy Basketball Team Names 2019 image

Your 2019 fantasy NBA season doesn't really start until you have a good fantasy basketball name (China approved, of course. If only John Wall was playing this year...or Michael Redd was still in the league...or Dragan Bender was good...don't worry, we'll think of one.). Sure, you could crush your draft thanks to dynamite rankings, a well-crafted sleepers list, and a comprehensive cheat sheet, but until you make your friends slightly chuckle or wince with a funny/clever/offensive/topical team name... well, it's just not basketball season. (Tiananmen Jaren? No, that's no good...)

As we point out every year, to really be a list of the "best fantasy basketball team names", we'd need to include inappropriate things that we couldn't possibly publish here. Inside jokes only relevant to others in your league are a good way to go, too, and obviously we can't help you there. Instead, we just fire off puns based on players names. Some are decent ("Rock 'em, Siakem Robots", "Get Richardson or Die Tryin'"), many are bad ("Office Oladipo", "Thou Shalt Not Covington Thy Neighbor's Oxen"). A lot you won't get ("Please Kevin, Don't Huerter 'em"). That's fine. We're volume shooters here. Think of us as Dion Waiters. They're not all gonna swish, but the ones that do...man, those are pretty. Those are the ones you'll tell your grandkids about. (Shanghai Loon-ey? No, that's not good either...)

2019 DRAFT RANKINGS:
Point guard | Shooting guard | Small forward | Power forward | Center | Overall

Ultimately, the goal of this list isn't necessarily to provide you with a ready-made gem. It's to inspire you to think of your own because you can certainly do better than these. It's one of those give-a-man-a-fish-teach-a-man fish things. Let one of our bad puns help you think of a good one. After you win your league, you'll know where it all started. (Antetokoun-Pao Chicken? You know what, nevermind.)

MORE: Top sleepers | Top rookies | Cheat sheet

Best Fantasy Basketball Team Names 2019

ZION WILLIAMSON

Zion Kings

JA MORANT

Ja Rules

Moranting and Raving

JOE INGLES

Ingles All the Way

KYRIE IRVING

Cobra Kyrie

LEBRON JAMES

The James Gang

Brains and LeBron

TACKO FALL

Tacko Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuesday

MARC GASOL

Gasol In the Family/Gasol I Need

Better Call Gasol

ENES KANTER

Enes Envy

You Kanter Go Home Again (literally, in this case)

MILES BRIDGES

Bridges Over Troubled Waters

I Would Walk 500 Miles/100 Miles and Runnin'

MO BAMBA

Bambas Over Baghdad/Atom Bambas/Nuclear Bambas/Bamba No. 5 (you get it)

2019 DRAFT RANKINGS:
Point guard | Shooting guard | Small forward | Power forward | Center | Overall

TRAE YOUNG

Trae Bombs (or Trae Bambas, if you land both)

Forever Young

KAWHI LEONARD

Kawhi So Serious? 

C.J. MCCOLLUM

McCollum Like I See 'em 

Here's My Number, McCollum Me Maybe

MIKE CONLEY

The Long Conley

DEVIN BOOKER

Booker Smart/Crack a Booker

Stairway to Devin/Devin Sent/Devin Can Wait

DRAYMOND GREEN

It's Not Easy Being Green (works for several other Greens, too, obviously)

Go Ahead, Make My Draymond

MORE: Top sleepers | Top rookies | Cheat sheet

KYLE LOWRY

The Lowry Boys

JOEL EMBIID

Rosary Embiids

KEVIN KNOX

Hard Knox Life

JEFF TEAGUE

Out of Your Teague 

Teague of Extraordinary Gentlemen 

BAM ADEBAYO

Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma'am

ANDRE DRUMMOND

Bang the Drummond

CLINT CAPELA

The Power of Christ Capela's You 

A Capela Group 

BROOK LOPEZ

Babbling Brooks

ROBIN LOPEZ

Robin and Stealin'

AL HORFORD

Dirty Horfords

COLLIN SEXTON

I Wanna Sexton You Up/Let's Talk About Sexton/Safe Sexton/Unprotected Sexton

Your Body's Collin

Collin of the Wild

BUDDY HIELD

Bosom Buddies

Only Say the Word and My Soul Shall Be Hield (for the Catholics in your league)

OTTO PORTER

Otto Erotic Asphyxiation

Otto Union

JAMAL MURRAY

Murray Convention (also works for Dejounte Murray)

Jamal About That Bass

KEMBA WALKER

Kemba Berries 

ANTHONY DAVIS

Brow Chicka Brow Brow 

Brow Beaters

LUKA DONCIC

Slam Doncic

Scatch My Doncic (works with a lot of other 

KARL-ANTHONY TOWNS

Boogie Towns Productions

Just a Small Towns Girl

MARVIN BAGLEY

Holding the Bagley/Securing the Bagley

R.J. BARRETT

Grin and Barrett

2019 DRAFT RANKINGS:
Point guard | Shooting guard | Small forward | Power forward | Center | Overall

RUSSELL WESTBROOK

Russell Westbrookstone Brothers

The Russ Belt 

Russ-ian Interference 

DARIUS GARLAND

Double Darius/Truth or Darius

DEANDRE AYTON

Master Ayton

LONZO BALL

Havin' a Ball/Kick in the Balls

Get Off My Lonzo

FRED VANVLEET

I Live In a VanVleet Down By the River

NICOLAS BATUM

Batum Goes the Dynamite 

JAMES HARDEN

It's Harden Out Here for a Pimp

Go Harden in the Paint 

MALIK BEASLEY

We Want Beasley 

Pimpin' Ain't Beasley 

DE'AARON FOX

De'Aaron On the Side of Caution (works for Aaron Gordon, too)

Fantastic Mr. Fox 

PASCAL SIAKAM

Dirty Pascals

Rock 'em, Siakam Robots

MYLES TURNER

I Would Walk 500 Myles/100 Myles and Runnin'

A Real Page Turner

MALIK MONK

Monk's Tale 

Monk City

MORE: Top sleepers | Top rookies | Cheat sheet

DE'ANGELO RUSSELL

There's Always Room for D'Angelo 

Beverley D'Angelo (Get Patrick Beverley, too, and you're all set to pay homage to the Griswold matriarch from the "Vacation" movies.)

WILL BARTON

Barton Around

Barton Finks

TAUREAN PRINCE

Fresh Prince

JUSTISE WINSLOW

And Justise For All

For the Winslow

2019 DRAFT RANKINGS:
Point guard | Shooting guard | Small forward | Power forward | Center | Overall

ROBERT COVINGTON

Thou Shalt Not Covington Thy Neighbor's Wife (or Oxen) (Yeah, it's long, but it's also just good advice.)

OG ANUNOBY

The Last OG

DE'ANDRE HUNTER

Big Game Hunters

VICTOR OLADIPO

Office Oladipo 

Hail to the Victors

Oladrip-o God

JULIUS RANDLE

Randle's Messiah 

You Can't Randle the Truth 

Too Hot to Randle

GIANNIS ANTETOKOUNMPO

Greek Freak Squad 

JJ REDICK

Let's Get Redickulous

Re-dick in a Box

LANDRY SHAMET

Gym, Tan, Landry

Landry Service

Shamet Wow!

2019 DRAFT RANKINGS:
Point guard | Shooting guard | Small forward | Power forward | Center | Overall

DAMIAN LILLARD

License to Illard/Time to Get Illard

ERSAN ILYSOVA

It Ain't Over Til It's Ilysova 

JEREMY LAMB

Lambs to the Slaughter

DEWAYNE DEDMON

Day of the Dedmon

Make it Dewayne

ERIC BLEDSOE

Ain't Got Time to Bledsoe 

JIMMY BUTLER

Butler Service

ALLEN CRABBE

Hermit Crabbes 

WESLEY MATTHEWS

Gospel According to Matthews

MARCUS SMART

Smart Guys

TOBIAS HARRIS

Tobias and the Never Nudes (for all the "Arrested Development" fans out there)

Implicit Tobias 

TIM HARDAWAY

Three the Hardaway 

JAYSON TATUM

Tatum? I Hardly Know 'em!

DILLON BROOKS/KRIS DUNN

Brooks and Dunn (Yes, your team will be bad, but if you're a country music fan, you gotta do it.)

PAUL GEORGE

Rated PG-13 

LAURI MARKKANEN

On the Markkanen

DEMAR DEROZAN

Fruta DeMar

MORE: Top sleepers | Top rookies | Cheat sheet

GORDON HAYWARD

Carry on my Hayward Sons 

ZACH LAVINE

LaVineal Sins 

LaVini Vidi Vici

MARKIEFF MORRIS

Chief Markieffs 

2019 DRAFT RANKINGS:
Point guard | Shooting guard | Small forward | Power forward | Center | Overall

KYLE KUZMA

Kuzma Control

DOMANTAS SABONIS

Sabonis Round

Praying Domantas

DERRICK FAVORS

Sexual Favors/Party Favors

Favors of Love

Favors in Ya Ear

JAYLEN BROWN

Jaylen It In

LARRY NANCE

Sir Nance-a-Lot

Nance-y Boys

JRUE HOLIDAY

Jrue Hill (Get George Hill, too, to really sell this one)

Jrue Life

TREVOR ARIZA

Ariza Con Pollo 

RICKY RUBIO

RubiOMG 

RUI HACHIMURA 

Hachimura Sauce

CARIS LAVERT

24 Caris Magic 

KEVON LOONEY

Looney Tunes

KLAY THOMPSON

Klaymation Domination

TERRANCE ROSS

Ross Dress for Less

BRADLEY BEAL

Beal of Approval

End All, Be-al

Trained Beals

RODNEY HOOD

Boyz N Tha Hood 

T.J. Warren

Warren Peace

Warren 2020

MORE: Top sleepers | Top rookies | Cheat sheet

DION WAITERS

Tip Your Waiters

Wrong Hill to Dion

RONDAE HOLLIS-JEFFERSON 

Case of the Rondaes 

Christmas in Hollis-Jefferson

MOE HARKLESS

How Could You Be Moe Harkless? 

Gimme Some Moe

RUDY GOBERT

Sweet Home ChicaGoberts 

Gobert or Go Home 

JOSH RICHARDSON

Get Richardson or Die Tryin'

KEVIN HUERTER

2019 DRAFT RANKINGS:
Point guard | Shooting guard | Small forward | Power forward | Center | Overall

Please Kevin, Don't Huerter 'em

Huerter So Good

NIKOLA JOKIC

Jokic on You

DENNIS SCHRODER

Taming of the Shroder 

STEVEN ADAMS

I Literally Can't Steven

KHRIS MIDDLETON/MALCOLM BROGDON

Malcolm in the Middleton

SPENCER DINWIDDIE

Spencer's Gifts

TYLER HERRO

Herro Ball

Did You Ever Know That You're My Herro?

MONTREZL HARRELL

Escape from Alcatrezl/Birdman of Alcatrezl

KEVIN LOVE

Stairway to Kevin

(A million different things with "Love")

NIKOLA VUCEVIC 

Deja Vucevic 

PAUL MILLSAPS

Run of the Millsaps

LAMARCUS ALDRIDGE 

Hacksaw Aldridge 

ANDREW WIGGINS

Split Your Wiggins 

Matt Lutovsky

Matt Lutovsky Photo

Matt Lutovsky has been a writer and editor for The Sporting News since 2007, primarily writing about fantasy sports, betting, and gaming.