10) New Wave Kitakyushu (Japan)
The name New Wave is excellent enough as it is, given the clear connotations towards early 80s music, but what really tips it into top 10 territory is that it's currently the centre of a rather unseemly legal battle.
A former Mitsubishi works team, the Kitakyushu side added 'New Wave' to their name in 2001 to reflect their status as a fresh, all-new community club.
However, in April this year the club was informed by the J-League - to which they are seeking entry from the third-tier JFL - that this was a name so popular in Japan that it was in breach of copyright laws.
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A public contest to suggest a new name - and design the new club crest - was hastily arranged. Within a month there were 346 entries for the name and 152 for the emblem. The results are expected to be announced soon and put into effect in 2010.
So, the New Wave's going to crash ashore in December. Enjoy it while you can.
9) Revolutionary Conquerors (Belize)
Modesty poured from every orifice of this team, last seen in the Belize top flight in the 2007 season. They may be able to conquer the revolution, but cracking that 'not getting relegated' thing proved to be one battle too far. License sold to another club in the same city, known by the slightly more pedestrian title of Ilagulei FC.
8) Provincial Electrical Authority (Thailand)
Teams named after the police, army and government are hardly unknown across the football world, but for sheer boring-ness there's no beating this one.
For some reason, its common abbreviation - PEA FC - elicits almost as many chuckles among English-speakers as the full titles. For this, though, it earns kudos.
Thailand's 2008 champions are currently battling relegation in 2009.
7) Village Superstars (St. Kitts & Nevis)
Being a superstar of one's village is like being the sexiest person in a phone box: all well and good, but not really worth bragging about.
Still, don't let that put the Village Superstars of Basseterre off. Having won their local league five times, they are no doubt local celebrities.
6) Bank of Guam Crushers (Guam)
Showing 'PEA' how it's done, the Bankers provide a valuable lesson: it doesn't matter how lame your club name is. It can automatically become one of the best on the planet by appending the word 'Crushers' to the end.
5) NAC Breda (Netherlands)
NAC Breda? That's a bit of a boring name at first glance, isn't it? Sure, there's no denying that, but once it's deconstructed it's far better. Bear in mind this is the result of a merger of just two clubs into one 'Combinatie'. Watch three letters become 82...
NAC
NOAD ADVENDO Combinatie
Nooit Opgeven, Altijd Doorzetten ADVENDO Combinate
Nooit Opgeven, Altijd Doorzetten Aangenaam Door Vermaak En Nuttig Door Ontspanning Combinatie
Other teams would have just called it Breda United and got on with it.
(If you're wondering, the whole translates as something close to ''Never Give Up, Always Go On' 'Pleasant For Entertainment And Useful For Recreation' Combination'.)
4) Green Buffaloes (Zambia)
Sounding like the result of a horrible nuclear spill on a cattle ranch, the Green Buffaloes weigh in at number four.
Based in the country's capital, Lusaka, they were formerly the team of the country's Army, but right now are struggling to make their voices heard in a fiercely competitive national league.
Among their opponents are another green-hued team, the Green Eagles of Kabwe, as well as the Power Dynamos club and the ambitiously-named City of Lusaka.
3) Tusker FC (Kenya)
Named after beer.
2) Montserrat Volcano Observatory Tremors (Montserrat)
Given that the island of Montserrat was all but obliterated in 1997 after a mammoth volcanic eruption, this name shows the indefatigability of football in the face of disaster.
That Montserrat still has a functioning football league is amazing in and of itself. By far one of the weakest teams in FIFA, the country has shed over half its population due to emigration since the volcano incident, and the entire southern half of the island is uninhabitable.
1) Eleven Men In Flight (Swaziland)
For sheer evocative poetry, there is no beating this. It brings to mind a glimpse of total football and consummate effort... but in a realer sense, the club's crest has an orange aeroplane on it. So, the eleven men are flying. At least they used to: in the mid 90s they won two national league championships, and in the following years Burundian striker Aman Mandela Habimani was considered a local superstar.
The Siteki side only narrowly escaped relegation from the Premier League of Swaziland this season, a certain 'Manchester United FC' finishing two places below them on bottom spot: at present they're not so much flying as crawling. Anyone who can hear this club's name spoken aloud without smiling needs only to hear their nickname: Easy By Night.
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