Nazem Kadri believes he could have made a difference for the Toronto Maple Leafs.
The 28-year-old forward was suspended for the duration of the Leafs' first-round series against the Bruins after he cross-checked Boston's Jake DeBrusk in the face in Game 2. Toronto was eliminated in a 5-1 Game 7 loss on Tuesday, the third straight first-round exit for the Leafs, and Kadri feels that he may have been able to help his team exorcise its recent playoffs demons had he been available to play.
“Ultimately in trying to do the right thing and protect my teammates, I ended up doing the wrong thing,” Kadri told reporters Thursday as the team was cleaning out their lockers. “I was just starting to play my best hockey in that series and I really was planning on bringing it, being a difference and being that X-factor. To say we would have advanced if I would have played is tough to say. It’s hard to sit back and watch when you know you could have made an impact.”
While he isn't the focal point of Toronto's offence, Kadri is a difference maker on the scoresheet and would have been just that had he played in Games 3-7. The London, Ont., native notched a point in each of the two playoff games he suited up for prior to his suspension, including the Leafs' lone goal in their 4-1 Game 2 loss.
It's a sore spot for Kadri in the aftermath of Toronto's second consecutive seven-game playoff loss to the Bruins.
“Of course I regret it,” Kadri said of the hit that sidelined him for the series. “It was tough to watch. I’ve never been so anxious and stressed out in my life in watching these games here. It’s not my intent to hurt people or to injure. I’m always going to be that guy to try to stand up for his teammates. Unfortunately, that just did not go the way I had envisioned.”
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Aside from missing games, Kadri offered contrition regarding the actual cross-check he delivered on DeBrusk. After watching DeBrusk deliver a crushing hit on teammate Patrick Marleau a second earlier, Kadri says he was only looking to send a message after engaging in a running rivalry with the Bruins forward.
"I wasn't intending to get him in the face," Kadri said. "That's completely not my character. Had that been the case there would have been some more substantial damage there. I was unsatisfied with the hit on Marleau, I thought it was a bit of a dangerous play and I wanted to give him one of those shots in the arm and let him know that wasn't OK with us.
"Unfortunately, it caught him high and I've got to be accountable for that, I've got to have control of my stick so that's definitely a bit of a boneheaded play."
Regardless of the intention, the end result was the same. Kadri found himself suspended for the second year in a row — he sat for three games in last season's playoffs after boarding Boston's Tommy Wingels — and only added to his growing reputation as a player who frequently requires supplementary discipline. Despite five total suspensions since 2013, Kadri isn't worried about losing the faith of his teammates or the organization.
"They know what kind of person I am," Kadri said. "They know I'm not a selfish person and all these instances are for standing up for other people. I know I put us behind the 8-ball and I know my teammates know I would do anything for this team.
"I'd much rather have someone on my team who cares a little too much than too little."