We've reached the point in the MLB offseason when spring training facilities are humming with activity — not with actual spring training, but with middle-age men and women who pay a bunch of money to live like an MLB player for a week. That's right: It's fantasy camp szn, baby.
For those unfamiliar with the concept, fantasy camps allow regular folks to spend a week or so living the major league life — hanging out with former MLB players, wearing real uniforms, playing real games and being generally catered to every hour of the day. Most teams have some version of a fantasy camp, and most are held each year between mid-January and early February at the same stadiums that will house MLB teams a few weeks later as they prep for a new season.
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I attended a Braves fantasy camp in 2013. From the time I learned of the concept as a kid, it was something I wanted to do. For 12-year-old me, it sounded like the coolest thing in the world. For 36-year-old me, it was pretty much as cool as I imagined. I'll pause here to say that fantasy camp is expensive, which is why most people who attend consider it a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Depending on the team and the length of the camp, they usually run somewhere between $3,000 and $5,000. This typically covers your hotel, your uniforms and other swag, coaching, training and medical services, meals and in-camp travel, as well as other behind-the-scenes odds and ends.
Although I've only attended one camp, I gained wisdom that I'm pretty sure is universal. So here are 10 things you learn at an MLB fantasy camp.
1. You look silly in a major league uniform
As kids, we have no problem picturing ourselves in a big league uniform. It's literally a fantasy and we all look fantastic in our minds. But when you arrive at fantasy camp, with your adult age and your adult, non-pro-athlete body, putting on a full uniform for the first time will give you equal thoughts of, "Wow, this is really cool!" and, "Oh, man. I look ridiculous." The dual thoughts are equally valid. Yes, it's definitely cool in a childhood-dream way. But you also know that you don't really belong in this setting. Sure, it's fun. But you know you're pretending. It's a weird mix. Granted, some pull it off better than others. But very few people at fantasy camp could be mistaken on sight for a real major leaguer. Pro tip: Sizing is critical.
2. Even if you’re in shape, you’re probably out of shape
I did months of cardio and strength work ahead of camp back in 2013. I was already in decent shape, but I figured I should ramp things up to have a good showing on the field. It wasn't enough. After a few hours of drills and one game, I was pretty sore. My legs especially. You don't realize, or maybe you just forget, how much sprinting is involved in baseball. There's a lot of it. So if your legs aren't in optimal shape, you're gonna feel it all week. The rest of the body needs attention, too, but the legs need it the most. From what I've seen, this isn't limited to older campers. Even the 20-somethings regretted not doing more sprinting in the weeks leading up to camp. So, even if you think you're in great shape, you've probably got room to improve. By the third or fourth day of camp, there's a good chance you'll fantasize more about staying in bed than playing big league baseball. But, hey, it's just part of the experience.
3. You will hurt
This is an offshoot of No. 2: There will be pain. Guaranteed. But not just soreness from overexertion. At some point during camp, you will either fall down, get hit, pull a muscle, get dehydrated or otherwise introduce yourself to some ouchies. It's just part of baseball. When baseball players say that nobody is at 100 percent after the first day of spring training, it's true. Here's my story of pain: In the first round on batting practice on the FIRST DAY OF CAMP, a Sid Bream fastball got in my kitchen and produced perhaps the most painful sensation my hands have ever felt while playing baseball. I took a break and assumed the pain would subside in a few minutes. It didn't. Before long, I had a huge bruise that covered half my palm on my right hand. Thanks to the training staff, I found some relief as the day(s) went on. But mostly I played the rest of camp with a wrapped/very sore hand and a timid approach while batting. It was suboptimal.
4. You will embarrass yourself at least once
Embarrassment is a spectrum. You will likely experience several forms. You might strike out in a big spot. You might lose a fly ball in the sun. You might fall down running the bases. You might do all three. Those are all normal on-field embarrassments, and they happen all the time at fantasy camp, just like in the big leagues. But there are other embarrassments that infrequently come up, which makes them so much bigger. Like the time I wore the wrong uniform to one of my games. Long story short, I misread the schedule and wore my home uniform instead of the away version. I realized my mistake about 10 minutes before the game started, but it was too late. My other uniform was already in the wash. I remember former Braves catcher Javy Lopez walking behind me and saying in a light-hearted, taunting way, "Fossssster, you're going to be in trouuuuuble." I was subsequently fined $2 in kangaroo court. My coaches, Marquis Grissom and Pete Smith, and teammates insisted we take this photo.
5. Old players are still better than you
MLB players are in the big leagues for a reason. Their talent is obviously among the best in the world. Even the worst major leaguer is ridiculously better than Average Joe Baseball Fan Who Played in High School. And in most cases, this extends well beyond their playing years. The ex-MLB players who coach at fantasy camp tend to be in their late 40s or early 50s, though some may be older or younger. But guess what: They're still better than you. When you see how your seemingly in-shape and strong teammates struggle to throw the ball on a line from third to first, then watch a 50-year-old long-retired player zip a bullet to first with what appears to be minimal effort, you gain an even greater appreciation for the elite level of skill it takes to play in the majors. In nearly all cases, the aging former big leaguers can still hit, throw and catch better than you.
6. The MLB life is pretty sweet
Fantasy camp offers only a glimpse at the big league lifestyle. But it's nice glimpse. There's not much you have to worry about. Your food, your travel and your laundry are all taken care of. Every worker and every coach is there to meet your needs. There's a breakfast spread, a lunch spread and seemingly unlimited snacks just a few steps from any locker in the clubhouse. There's a clean uniform hanging in your locker every morning. New swag seems to show up daily: a new pullover, a new golf shirt, a new bat. If you need to soak in a hot tub, you can. If you need help with sore muscles, the training staff is eager to help. Need some extra BP? You got it. It's all great. And, again, it's just a small peek at what it's really like.
7. You won’t get 'discovered'
This one doesn't apply to 99 percent of campers, but you get the feeling that there's always someone who thinks there's at least a miniscule chance that they will impress enough people at fantasy camp that the team will take serious interest in signing them. I wouldn't say it's literally impossible that this could happen, but it's extremely unlikely. Most camps have a minimum age requirement of at least 25. And barring some serious, serious talent that's somehow gone unnoticed — I'm talking once-in-a-generation talent — nobody at fantasy camp will ever get a spring training invite. So even if you were great in high school, or even great in college, the chance of an MLB team signing you based on a fantasy camp performance at age 25 or older is probably slightly less realistic than winning the Powerball. But you can always hope that you're the exception. I guess that's one reason why they call it fantasy camp.
8. The ex-players enjoy it almost as much as you do
You can tell the former big leaguers enjoy being at these camps. They wouldn't be there if they didn't. For them, it's a chance to wear the uniform again, hang out with their old pals, remember the good ol' days and relive their own glory for another week. There's a lot of laughing, joking and good-natured ribbing, and there are tons of cool stories that pass through the clubhouse. There's no need to be shy. They want you to talk to them. They know you love them. They enjoy getting to know you. In some cases, the relationships continue beyond the camp. Here's a video from my camp of David Justice explaining the allure of fantasy camp (including a comically inappropriate question from former pitcher Mike Bielecki at the end).
9. You will be motivated for excellence
Given your surroundings at fantasy camp, you almost can't help but get philosophical. You see all the former players who were among the best in the world at what they did. But otherwise, they're just regular people. They just happened to have a cool skill, they developed it, they practiced, and they found success through opportunity. I realized that such success doesn't have to be limited to sports. We can all work to get better at what we do. We all have skills. We're all good at something. So why not try to be among the best at whatever that may be? Obviously, just wanting it isn't enough to make it happen. You've got to work at it. And even then, you might not end up being the best, or anywhere close to the best. But the pursuit of excellence should always be there. Excellence often breeds opportunity, and that's where success lives.
10. You’ll want to do it again
Despite the cost, I'm 99.9 percent certain that anyone who has attended an MLB fantasy camp will say it was worth it. That's why you'll want to go back. Most people can't afford to go more than once. I'm one of those people. But there are others who find a way to go every year. That speaks to the value of the experience — the opportunity to live away from your reality for a few days and dwell in one of your youthful fantasies. I'm seven years removed from my camp and the memories remain as fresh as the day they happened. Apart from the usual super-personal life moments, I can't say that about many things.
(If you're interested, I wrote much more about my 2013 fantasy camp experience via a daily blog you can find here. Note the different entries on the menu at right.)
