Normally at this time of year, we would've already filled out our brackets for March Madness and we'd be looking forward to doing the same for the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Sadly, this year is a little different.
Without any sports, there's been no way to get our fix of bracketology. Until now, that is.
We might not be able to bring back sports here at Sporting News Canada, but we can provide you with the bracket that you've been craving. Literally.
MORE: Updates on every Canadian sporting event canceled by coronavirus
Assembled below are 16 of the most popular foods and drinks native to the Great White North. We've broken them down into four divisions: regional specialties, big brands, desserts and beverages. The items in each division have been seeded one through four based on their historical popularity. In each round, the items will square off via Twitter polls to see who moves on to the next round. After three rounds, the two finalists will compete in the championship to determine the most beloved treat in all of Canada.
Without further ado, here are your 16 contestants:
Regional specialties
#1 Poutine: There is, perhaps, no other food or drink in this competition that has proven itself worthy of a one seed more than poutine. Originating in Quebec, the high-calorie classic consists of french fries topped with fresh cheese curds and smothered in gravy. It has long been a staple in the diet of Montrealers after a night out and has spread all throughout Canada since its origins sometime in the 1950s or 60s. Poutine looks to be one of the early favorites to win it all.
#2 Montreal smoked meat: The city of Montreal gave birth to this classic counterpart to the pastrami famously served at delicatessens in New York City. It has several key differences from the American stuff, namely that it's entirely made of beef brisket, has less sugar and is sliced thinner. It still tastes pretty good between two pieces of rye bread with a dash of mustard, though, or even on top of poutine.
#3 Montreal bagels: Yet another food hailing from Montreal, these bagels are smaller, denser and have a larger hole than your typical bagel. They are held to a strict standard of quality and must be boiled in honey-sweetened water and baked in a wood oven to be considered the real thing. Brought to Canada by Jewish settlers from Poland, they're usually topped with either poppy or sesame seeds.
#4 Peameal Bacon: It may have served as the inspiration for what other countries call "Canadian bacon," but peameal bacon is a unique thing all its own. Found mostly in Southern Ontario, and often referred to as "back bacon," peameal bacon differs from your typical American "streaky" bacon in that it's made from pork loin rather than pork belly. It's a local favorite at the St. Lawrence Market in Toronto, but it'll be a big underdog against poutine in round one.
Big brands
#1 Kraft Dinner: So simple, yet so delicious. Kraft Dinner has been a truly iconic product in Canada for decades. Since being introduced back in the 1930s, the processed macaroni and cheese dish has evolved to become a staple in millions of Canadian homes. With Canadians buying 1.7 million of the 7 million boxes sold worldwide each week, KD is the most popular grocery item in the country. The term "Kraft Dinner" has come to represent mac and cheese as a whole despite it being just one brand of many.
#2 Timbits: Like Kraft Dinner, Timbits have succeeded in replacing the term for a type of food with the name of the brand that produces it. What is known in America as "doughnut holes" has become universally referred to in Canada as Timbits. They're sweet, they're bite-sized and they pair oh-so-well with a cup (or three) of Tim Hortons' coffee. The second of two strong contenders for the title from the big brands division.
#3 All-dressed chips: Potato chips are an extremely popular snack all over the world, but there's nowhere else besides Canada where "all-dressed" is one of the varieties. Produced by the Ruffles brand, all-dressed chips feature a medley of flavors that are hard to pin down. The mixture actually consists of barbeque, ketchup, sour cream and onion and salt and vinegar flavors all incorporated into one chip. The result is dangerously addictive.
#4 Coffee Crisp: The biggest underdog in the big brands division comes courtesy of this sweet treat. It's a chocolate bar similar to a Kit-Kat, with crispy wafers covered in chocolate. However, what sets this bar apart is the addition of coffee-flavored cream. It's a go-to for those craving chocolate to be sure, but a tough matchup against Kraft Dinner in round one awaits.
Desserts
#1 Nanaimo bars: This rich dessert gets its name from the town in British Columbia where it was invented. It consists of three layers: a bottom made from crushed nuts, crumbs, and coconut; a middle layer of custard, and a topping of chocolate icing. It has been one of Canada's favorite confections for decades and was even served to former U.S. President Barack Obama by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau during a diplomatic visit.
#2 Butter tarts: A simple dessert, but a highly regarded one, the butter tart is made using butter, sugar and egg inside a pastry shell. Raisins and walnuts can also be added. The earliest recipe for butter tarts dates back to 1900 in Barrie, Ont., and it has become a cherished dish throughout Eastern Canada.
#3 BeaverTails: Beavers are one of Canada's most iconic animals, and they've now lent their name to one of it's most iconic pastries. First served at the Killaloe Fair, west of Ottawa, in 1978, BeaverTails have turned into a nationwide craze. Made from fried dough that is stretched into the shape of the namesake animal's tail, they can be topped with anything from cinnamon sugar, hazelnut spread or frosting. Obama has sampled these too, at the Byward Market in Ottawa back in 2009.
#4 Saskatoon berry pie: Saskatoon berries are a fruit native to Western North America, including large parts of Western Canada, where they've been turning the fruit into delicious pies for years. The name for the fruit comes not from the city in Saskatchewan, but from the Cree word for the plant. Usually, the pie consists of Saskatoon berries with sugar, butter and lemon juice.
Beverages
#1 Molson Canadian: The Molson Brewery was founded in 1786, making it the oldest brewery, and the second-oldest company, in Canada. The brand's Canadian lager has been produced since the 1950s and it's been one of the country's most popular brews ever since.
#2 Labatt Blue: Another iconic Canadian beer, Labatt Blue is described as a "Canadian pilsener." It remains one of the country's favorite beers and has also achieved popularity in other countries, including the U.S. This might be due to the fact that the company shipped beer south to America during Canadian prohibition in the early 20th century.
#3 Canada Dry ginger ale: While these days you can get Canada Dry just about anywhere, it was originally created in Canada. John J. McLaughlin, a pharmacist from Enniskillen, Ont., created the carbonated beverage in Toronto in 1904. It became popular during prohibition as a mixer to cut the potency of the homemade liquor common at the time. Soon enough, it was wildly popular and spread all over the world.
#4 Canadian whisky: Back when Canada was still under British rule, rum was the liquor of choice given the importance of the sugar trade. However, these days Canada has put itself on the map with its whisky. Typically a little lighter than its American counterpart, Canadian whisky may have also grown in popularity when it was shipped across the southern border during prohibition.
There you have it, the 16 contestants in our tournament bracket. Of course, it's an exclusive field, and many great Canadian delicacies just missed the cut. Here are some honorable mentions:
Ketchup chips, dill pickle chips, Hawaiian pizza (invented in Chatham, Ont.), sugar pie, Nova Scotia lobster rolls, Jos Louis, Caesar cocktail (bloody Caesar), bannock, Tourtière, Pouding chômeur, maple taffy.
First-round results
No. 1 Poutine defeats no. 4 Peameal bacon, 80.4 percent to 19.6 percent
No. 2 Montreal smoked meat defeats no. 3 Montreal bagels, 67.7 percent to 32.3 percent
No. 1 Kraft Dinner defeats no. 4 Coffee Crisp, 52.2 percent to 47.8 percent
No. 2 Timbits defeat no. 3 All-dressed chips, 54 percent to 46 percent
No. 1 Nanaimo bars defeat no. 4 Saskatoon berry pie, 65.2 percent to 34.8 percent
No. 3 BeaverTails defeat no. 2 Butter tarts, 56.2 percent to 43.8 percent
No. 4 Canadian whisky defeats no 1 Molson Canadian, 62.9 percent to 37.1 percent
No. 3 Canada Dry ginger ale defeats no. 2 Labatt Blue, 64.5 percent to 35.5 percent
A dramatic first round is in the books and the field has been narrowed from 16 to eight competitors. In the biggest upset of the round, number four-seeded Canadian whisky took down Molson Canadian, the one-seed in the beverage division, by a comfortable margin. Labatt Blue, the other beer in the competition, was also soundly defeated by Canada Dry ginger ale.
The battle between Kraft Dinner and Coffee Crisp went right down to the wire and almost ended in a shocking upset. Coffee Crisp, the heavy underdog, held the lead for the vast majority of the poll, but a late comeback in the final few hours saw Kraft Dinner steal the win by a mere two votes. A heartbreaker for Coffee Crisp to be sure, and perhaps a wake-up call for KD moving forward.
Elsewhere, BeaverTails and Timbits both advanced in close matchups over butter tarts and All-dressed chips, respectively, while one-seeds poutine and Nanaimo bars cruised past their respective opponents: peameal bacon and Saskatoon berry pie. Montreal smoked meat took down its local rival, Montreal bagels, to round out the Elite Eight.
Second-round results
No.1 Poutine defeats no. 2 Montreal smoked meat, 80.3 percent to 19.7 percent
No. 1 Kraft Dinner defeats no. 2 Timbits, 50.4 percent to 49.6 percent
No. 3 BeaverTails defeats no. 1 Nanaimo bars, 58.3 percent to 41.7 percent
No. 3. Canada Dry ginger ale defeats no. 4 Canadian whisky, 51.7 percent to 48.3 percent
After another thrilling round of voting, we're down to our final four.
There were some seriously tight matchups in round two, including another breathtaking victory for the number one-seeded Kraft Dinner. After scraping by Coffee Crisp by just two votes in the first round, KD somehow managed to one-up itself this time. In a poll with 135 votes cast, Kraft Dinner defeated the number two-seeded Timbits by a SINGLE VOTE. That's right, the final tally was 68 votes to 67. Despite two extremely close calls, Kraft Dinner has still somehow managed to advance to the final four.
Another exciting matchup came courtesy of the beverages division, where Canada Dry ginger ale prevailed over Canadian whisky by just five votes out of 149 total. Canada Dry is joined in the final four by fellow three-seed BeaverTails, which advanced with a victory over Nanaimo bars in the only upset of the second round.
Finally, Poutine dominated Montreal smoked meat to clinch the last spot in the semifinals.
Final four results
No. 1 Poutine defeats no. 3 BeaverTails, 73.6 percent to 26.4 percent
No. 1 Kraft Dinner defeats no. 3 Canada Dry ginger ale, 68.1 percent to 31.9 percent
It was an incredible run to the final four for the three-seeded BeaverTails and Canada Dry ginger ale, but the competition simply proved too fierce for them. Both of the one seeds comfortably defeated the underdogs in the penultimate round, setting up a marquee matchup in the championship.
Now, it's going to be a battle between two Canadian blue-bloods for the trophy. Can Poutine, which has dominated in every round so far, clear the final hurdle? Or can Kraft Dinner, which survived by the skin of its teeth in the first two rounds, pull off the upset to complete a legendary run?
Championship
No.1 Poutine defeats no. 1 Kraft Dinner, 56.7 percent to 43.3 percent
An entertaining tournament has come to an end, with poutine deservedly earning the title of Canada's most beloved delicacy. Kraft Dinner put together an outstanding run, winning both of the two closest polls throughout the week, but in the end it couldn't keep up with the pre-tournament favorite in the final. The results for the championship round saw poutine get 268 votes to Kraft Dinner's 205.
Thank you to everyone who voted throughout the week, and congratulations to poutine on being crowned the champion!
