The 7 days to cash in your non-negotiable TV control this summer

Jed Wells

The 7 days to cash in your non-negotiable TV control this summer image

In case you weren’t aware, many people live with other people, be they partners, children, friends, parents, or holdovers from the couchsurfing era who just never left. 

With so many people forced to share communal areas, commandeering the TV can be a delicate operation and you have to choose your spots wisely to keep the peace, especially in summer when people are looking to beat the heat and hang out in the air conditioning. 

This is all well and good until you realise that summer is also Australia’s peak sports season. Of course, you can’t expect your fellow inhabitants to watch the equivalent of an Olympic Decathlon each day. 

However, these seven days are non-negotiable musts to get on the calendar - lest you end up with reruns of Love Island on TV while you stream the biggest sporting events of the year on your broken iPhone 8. 

Monday, December 19th, 2 am: FIFA World Cup Final 

At first glance, you might think that an event this late/early would not be contested for TV control. 

But what you’re forgetting is 1. If you live with someone who falls asleep in front of the TV, this could be a conundrum, and 2. Just because other people aren’t using the TV at this time, doesn’t mean they’ll appreciate hearing your calls of ‘GOALLLLLL’ at 2 am before their work week starts. 

MORE: Get summer sport ready with up to 50% off this Black Friday sale at Barbeques Galore

Therefore, it’s important to inform everyone in your residence that you’ll be having an all-nighter, and hey, maybe you’ll even make them breakfast. 

PAIRS WELL WITH: A breakfast in the style of your World Cup favourite (Full English, anyone?)

PAIRS POORLY WITH: Being productive at work after 12 pm this week. 

Sunday, December 11th, 12:30 pm: Warriors vs Celtics 

With 82 games per team in an NBA season, it can be hard to circle which contests are the must-watch affairs. 

But one that will undoubtedly produce fireworks is the rematch of last year’s NBA Finals, where the Warriors scooped victory and a championship from Boston’s jaws of defeat. 

Throw in the MVP-calibre play of the Warriors’ Steph Curry and the Celtics’ Jayson Tatum, and you’re guaranteed a game you won’t want to miss. 

PAIRS WELL WITH: A seafood platter: Prawns, lobsters, crayfish, even Balmain bugs.

PAIRS POORLY WITH: Betting the under

Sunday, December 25th, 6:30 pm: Sydney Kings vs Melbourne United 

Ah, Christmas dinner, everyone’s favourite incredibly awkward event. 

Do you want to fend off questions about when you’re going to get a real job, watch your parents get drunk off eggnog, and get into the inevitable political debates?

Or do you want to witness Australian sports history, as two NBL heavy hitters play in the first-ever Christmas Day game? Book the TV out, it’s a no-brainer. 

PAIRS WELL WITH: A honey-baked ham and assorted salads

PAIRS POORLY WITH: A 20th consecutive viewing of ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ 

Sunday, December 26th, 10:30 am: Day 1 of the Boxing Day Test - Australia vs South Africa 

Easily the most obvious selection here, but you can’t beat the classics. 

Out of five straight days of cricket, Day 1 is easily the most important, the slate is still fresh, and anything is possible. 

So while you’re nursing that Christmas hangover, turn on the TV, sit yourself right next to the pedestal fan, and embrace Australian culture. 

PAIRS WELL WITH: Sausages, sausages, sausages and more sausages

PAIRS POORLY WITH: Your cousin coming in every hour asking you who’s winning

Saturday and Sunday, January 28th/29th 7:30 pm: Women’s and Men’s Aus Open Finals

Is this cheating? Technically, but we don’t care, and the people you live with shouldn’t either. 

This Australian Open has the potential to be one of the most drama-filled in recent memory. 

MORE: Get summer sport ready with up to 50% off this Black Friday sale at Barbeques Galore

Will Djokovic make a triumphant return? Can Kyrgios claim his first Slam on home soil? Is there an Aussie who can fill Ash Barty’s shoes? Tune in over the last week of January to find out. 

PAIRS WELL WITH: Night one buffalo wings, night two sticky Asian wings 

PAIRS POORLY WITH: Watching 400 ads for The Block  

Sunday, February 12th, 2 pm: UFC 284 Perth 

For all those who were calling to bring back the biff, the Western Australian government has obliged, delivering us a local UFC card that features Aussie icon Alex Volkanovski trying to move up a weight class for a second championship belt. 

Other Australians confirmed on the card include Robert Whittaker, Tyson Pedro, Jack Jenkins, Josh Culibao, and Justin Tafa, enough for any red-blooded Australian to get invested in the action. 

So make sure you book out your TV for an afternoon of violence. 

PAIRS WELL WITH: Beef brisket, extremely tender

PAIRS POORLY WITH: Convincing yourself you’re Australia’s next MMA champion and fighting your brother in the backyard

Monday, February 13th, 10:30 am: NFL Super Bowl 

Book the TV. Plan your sickie. Stock up on snacks. Pull your NFL jersey out of the closet, and get ready, because it’s Super Bowl S̶u̶n̶d̶a̶y̶ Monday. 

Is 10:30 am too early to have your first beer? Not when you’re settling in for a three-hour show featuring two teams you’re probably not that invested in. 

But Super Bowl day is a ritual, it's unmissable, it's arguably the single most exciting day of the year to watch sports, and also to consume copious amounts of food. Enjoy!

PAIRS WELL WITH: Burgers, hot dogs, nachos

PAIRS POORLY WITH: A well-balanced breakfast

What are you looking forward to most this summer? Have your say: http://bit.ly/3EOPzKm

Jed Wells

Jed Wells Photo

Jed is a writer and social media producer, who has a keen interest in the intersection of sports and popular culture, especially basketball.