In case you didn't stay up late enough to see nothing happen between the Seahawks and Cardinals on Sunday Night Football, the final score was 6-6.
Sorry, make that 6-6-6. Sure it was a devil of a defensive-dominated game that baseball could call a fall classic. But for the NFL, it's absolute hell, at the very worst time.
The last thing the league needed with its prime-time ratings in decline was Seattle and Arizona playing 75 minutes with neither a touchdown nor a winner. Yes, it was like kissing your sister, if her name was Medusa.
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Two potentially high-powered offenses turned to stone, with Russell Wilson and Carson Palmer involved in the wrong kind of pitcher's duel. Yes, those were the same NFC West rivals who played a 39-32 Sunday night game last November with both Wilson and Palmer lighting it up with their many talented weapons.
This October, however, brought on something more frightful than anything we'll see on Halloween. Unless you bet way, way under on the 43 points, you weren't thrilled by everything you watched, down to kickers Chandler Catanzaro and Stephen Hauschka playing anything you can shtoink, I can pull better.
The NFL needs points, excitement and offensive superstars to draw in the casual crowd and provide everyone with some fantasy football reasons to watch. It's sad, but it is true that we can't just appreciate what endless defensive standouts from both teams, led by Richard Sherman and Tyrann Mathieu, can do to bring some old-school stingy toughness to the game.
Yeah, the election is diverting our attention. #BoycottNFL might have more validity than we think. We're missing a lot of familiar names on the marquee, thanks to either retirement, injuries or ineffectivness. There's mostly medicore teams with only a few good ones capable of consistently putting on a good show. There's a quarterback transition going on all over the league.
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But in the end, the NFL is in competition with North America's other top professional team sport in its attempt for global domination.
There is plenty of excitement for tipoff of another NBA season, where the play and entertainment value is off the charts. Postseason baseball is killing it now for the MLB, with the Cubs and Indians bringing history, drama and plenty of cable viewers in advance of the most anticipated World Series in a long time on free national television. College football Saturdays aren't letting down with the same game, with weekly wild finishes and shocking upsets.
Contrary to popular belief, the NFL isn't rigged and it has no control over its storylines. Heck, have you seen how Roger Goodell lets things get out of hand off the field? And you thought he could use his devli magic to fix what's on the field. That's a good one.
Everything the league does at night in 2016 is magnified. The Packers-Bears was a lopsided mess indicative of poor Thursday action, and it was even second fiddle in the Second City to the Cubbies. The Seahawks and Cardinals added to the ugliness on SNF. The Texans-Broncos game is bound to let down on Monday with Brock Osweiler's return tipping heavily toward Denver.
It trickles down more to the bad teams. Who cares about the Browns still not winning when LeBron James and the Cavs have a ring and it's a Tribe called AL champions?
Have you met the NFC South? But wait, the AFC South is even worse.
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The Cowboys, of all teams, have been a saving grace with some America's Team luster with Dak Prescott. Dallas was off on Sunday, and the so-called new America's game hit a thud with a less than stellar Week 7 schedule.
Goodell and the owners say they're aware of the slip in TV ratings, but haven't been overly concerned with them. But everything can reach a saturation point, and it can go only go backward with an inferior product.
As a hard-hitting throwback affair, the Seahawks and Cardinals didn't disappoint. But the league isn't selling that kind of true football, but rather programming that's supposed to stack up with the unfunny but popular network sitcoms and about 100 shows called Law & Order: NCIS.
Even worse, nobody in America likes a tie. There's no tying in baseball. There's no tying in college football. Even the NHL turned to the more decisive-sounding overtime shootout loss. There certainly won't be a tie for president, that's for damn sure.
The popularity of the NFL is still built most on the passion of its loyal fans. When you invest a ton of money to go to the game or four-plus long hours watching what you could have invested in any other sport, a mini Netflix marathon or half the Godfather Saga, you expect results. You want someone to get whacked at the end.
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You expect to feel really happy that your team won in dramatic, unexpected fashion or feel really mad, wanting a kicker to be cut immediately or a coach to be fired tomorrow. The NFL should know a tie is a whole bunch of wasted energy from fans and players without the reward of any emotion.
The No Fun League label is becoming harder to shake when there is no scoring, no emotion, no reasons to watch, even if you live and die with the birds from either Seattle or Arizona. You deserved either relief or hearbreak. How dare the NFL deny you of that.
NBA, enjoy your fancy new window, because the NFL also helped in opening it for you. MLB, we gotta give it up. You got Chicago and Cleveland to the World Series in the same freaking year. The stage is yours to be bigger, too. We welcome your low-scoring games, because they're a sign of good baseball and just as important, the most compelling theater. By the way, thanks for always playing as many extra innings as it takes to declare an actual winner.
Now look up in the NFL standings, and you'll now see Seattle 4-1-1 and Arizona 3-3-1. Look up into the NFL offices, and it's getting a lot closer to needing to call for a ratings 9-1-1.
