Hollywood has always known when it’s onto a good thing.
A successful movie can spawn sequel after sequel before it’s time for another reboot; different actors, maybe, but essentially the same story.
It’s largely about economics and rarely because there’s genuinely another good story to tell, as every drop is squeezed out of a concept that dulls with each pass through the wash and spin cycle.
In some ways that’s how these Ashes have played out and in Hobart the plot line involving an England batting collapse had all the predictability and horror of teenagers deciding to split up and find help when there’s a chainsaw-wielding serial killer on the loose.
There have been interesting sub-plots along the way in this series; the emergence of Scott Boland as a fiendishly clever bowler, the maturing of Travis Head as a dependable and destructive No.5, the gutsy determination of Jonny Bairstow and Ben Stokes at the SCG’s great escape and Pat Cummins finding his feet as captain.
But it’s highly doubtful anyone would review this as a competitive series worthy of five stars.
And perhaps that number is part of the problem.
This series is the first to make it through a five-Test schedule since the pandemic exploded across the world.
The other attempts, between India and England in their respective countries, ended at four, with the abandoned fifth Test of the English summer postponed until 2022.
But the desperation to stage all five Tests has come at a cost.
The lack of preparation, hampered by quarantine and inclement Queensland weather, and the squeezing of the schedule have contributed to an England side ill-equipped to deal with a comparatively fresh Australian squad.
There were no tour matches at the start and none in the middle; has there ever been a five-Test series where that has occurred?
The days of Ashes tours that lasted three or four months have long gone, but in cricket’s greed to play more tournaments in an increased number of formats, a mini-series has been shoehorned into a 30 minute schedule.
Compare this tour to the 2019 Ashes, congested as it was, when Australia played a tour match in Worcester after the opening Test and then another in Derby, after the wrenching loss at Headingley, giving them a chance to rest those who needed time to physically recover and refresh minds.
Even India’s four-Test tour de force a year ago began with two warm-up matches in which the likes of Mohammed Siraj and Washington Sundar familiarised themselves with players and conditions, well before their instrumental contributions on the main stage.
The next Australian broadcast rights cycle will be signed next year, beginning and ending - as it always does - with the Ashes.
But even if the current pandemic were to end and no new strains of this infernal virus emerge, the global cricket landscape has irreversibly transformed.
The IPL is expanding, with another two franchises joining the T20 behemoth, and there is a men’s white-ball World Cup scheduled virtually every year.
Something must give in an extended series, whether it’s the postponement or abandonment of Tests or the sacrifice of high quality competition; we have seen all three in the past twelve months.
Boards must deliver on their broadcast commitments but there are alternative options involving series comprising two, three or even four matches, should creative minds be willing.
It would make the World Test Championship more sensible in points allocation; that a match in a five-Test series is essentially worth less than one in a shorter series is problematic in its inequality.
There would be resistance, of course. The notion of tradition and the value to broadcasters would not be surrendered lightly.
But there is a precedent for the traditionalists; in 1975 a four-Test Ashes series was played in England.
It was Ian Chappell’s last as Australian captain and featured Dennis Lillee and Jeff Thompson in their prime; history records Australia won 1-0.
Is that achievement worth less because the sides played four Tests instead of five?
The broadcast issue is harder to quantify; would there be more eyeballs on a one-sided series of five Tests or would a summer involving England and another team playing Australia in shorter series draw a sufficient television audience, possibly with a total of five or six Tests?
None of this is to mitigate the problems faced by England or the performance of Joe Root’s team and there is no guarantee a kinder schedule would have produced a more even contest.
But these are questions worth asking and the pandemic has merely sharpened them.
This Ashes tour was in danger of never taking place and it has lurched along, held together with the fraying string of desperate negotiations.
And, unless we can return to a world that allows for the luxury of time and greater ease of travel, perhaps it should mark the end of five-Test series.
