The Rover's rant: AFL's obsession with head-high hits is ruining the game

Charlie Dixon went nuts this week about his teammate Robbie Gray getting rubbed out for a match, and I can’t blame him.

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“I don’t even know what the system is, what the rules are,” big Charlie ranted, using a line he’s probably pulled out on many occasions before but which I fully concur with this time.



I wasn’t surprised that Gray copped a ban in the same way I’m not surprised when a wet-weather, kick-off-the-ground that goes 50 metres before trickling over the line is paid as a ‘deliberate out of bounds’ free kick, but getting used to stupid decisions doesn’t make them right.

There’s 36 big, strong, fit blokes running fast around a footy field with their eyes on the ball and the laws of physics state that sooner or later there’s going to be a collision.

In fact they’re doing it for 120 minutes so there’s going to be a lot of collisions.

And that’s just the way the AFL likes it!

Hell, watch their fancy, rock’n’roll season-teasing ads that come out around about now and there’s footage of guys crashing into each other over and over again, coordinated perfectly to every time Kram hits the crash cymbal in one Spiderbait song or another.

Dangerous physicality isn’t just ‘part of the game’, it’s THE part of the game that allows us to smack down the guy in the tearoom who says Aussie Rules is insignificant because it’s only played in one country, whereas ‘football’ (I hate the way those snotty little dweebs use the word like we’ve culturally appropriated it) is a global game.

“Yeah, for pussies,” we reply, leaving them with nowhere to go. And if they do open their mouths then we put on a Charlie Dixon mad-eyed-bushman stare and they soon slink back to their desk in the corner of the IT department.

Unfortunately the AFL isn’t afraid of Charlie Dixon imitators or even the real one.

They’re an unswayable, politically-correct behemoth that will hide behind a ‘the head is sacrosanct’ mantra with such determination that anyone questioning them is obviously an animal still living in the days when Neil Balme was a footballer, not an ocean of calm water.

Well, I liked Neil Balme the footballer. I like Robbie Gray the footballer and I like the way he plays football.

I like the way ‘we’ play football – with aggression, with physicality, with big hits and occasionally big damage, without rolling on the ground faking injury to get a free kick.

I like the way we attack the contest without fear or favour with one thing on our minds – the football.

Because that’s the name of the game, ‘football’ - Aussie Rules football, not generic ‘don’t touch me I’m worth two million Euros a week’ football.

And if some pinhead geek from IT tells you any different then bring on the 'Charlie Dixon’s'.